Déjà Vu

0019

✞

Honestly I didn't know how I should go about getting closer to Dexter. Sure he had teased and he flirted with me occasionally but every one of those times I had shut him down.

If it wasn't clear how stubborn I was by now.

Dexter was no idiot no matter how much I jokingly called him that. My sudden change of heart would raise suspicions.

He's an egocentric man whore Havana.
He won't notice a damn thing.

Then again he probably wouldn't after he finds out  Marcus and I are breaking up, so I was officially single.

"Trouble in paradise?" Dexter asks breaking the silence between us.

"I don't wanna talk about it, he won't be coming back that's all you need to know." I say dismissively.

My voice cracked at the end but he made no notion to having heard it. He seemed to understand that my shortness wasn't directed at him. But because I hated being vulnerable once again and thankfully he didn't push any further.

"Where have you been?" Charlie walks in.

"What's wrong?" His tone changed from upset to concerned within a blink of an eye. He walked over towards me taking me into his arms.

"Why don't you ask her ex-Casanova." Dexter says leaving us behind.

As soon as he left I begin to sob pathetically until I couldn't anymore.

These past few days were too much for one person to handle. I didn't know how Charlie was still holding up, I didn't know how any of them was.

From betrayal and lies one after the other.

Only for me having to do the same in return.

Charlie sat us down on the couch while he embraced me and I let him. I could hear his whispers of sweet and comforting things but they wouldn't register.

I kept crying for the danger that I put Lisa in.

I cried for the lies that I would have to start telling and knowing that I would be responsible for the deaths of my adopted family. I cried because I couldn't bring myself to hate Charlie nor the others. Their hooks were too deep within to separate.

"I know Ana, I know all too well." He said with his head laying on top of mine.

"You know I remember your first heartbreak like it was yesterday. You came home crying when Tucker Walsh didn't ask you to the dance." I nodded to show that I was listening.

"And I caught that mother fucker kissing Parker Richardson behind his house." I giggled almost choking on my tears at the same time.

Leave it to Charlie to want to make me laugh, and I had remembered just as well as he did.

It was my ninth grade year of high school. He was one of the first boys to show interest in me that year and it meant everything at the time.

I called myself being in love with that boy only for him to be rooting for the other team. It was entirely my fault for not noticing that he was just trying to be nice and wholesome.