Beside

67 - wanderlust

ｃｈｒｉｓ

"Come here."

"Or what?"

I throw a pillow at him but he just catches it. "Come. Here. It's time for a lesson."

His smile is giddy as he says, "Yes, ma'am," and jumps onto my bed. I take his shirt off and make him lie down on his stomach. He nearly giggles, burying his face in my pillow.

I cross my legs under me and rub my hands together. "Ready?"

"Hm."

I draw a B on his lower back. He holds up four fingers close together, thumb folded across his palm. I smile and tell him, "Perfect."

"Yes I am."

I drag my finger down his spine and move it across in an L. He throws up a pointer and a thumb at a ninety-degree angle. "Very good."

"No, perfect."

I lean down and kiss the muscled, warm skin of his shoulder and he sighs.

Over the last three days, I got worse before I got better. But everyone stayed. I began to wonder what I ever did in my life to deserve such beautiful people.

And this? It started a few days ago. My lips were so chapped, my throat so rough, that while I could talk, I just didn't. Words felt... monumental. So I just crooked my finger at Fox, didn't eat the food he brought, and let him hold me while I sank into a deeper darkness for a few hours.

But I got out. I drank some water, put on lip balm, took my meds, and ate. Then I taught Fox some ASL in case it ever happened again.

Turns out Fox is just as smart as he says he is. He picked it up in a matter of minutes. Go away, come here, please, thanks, water, food, help, sorry.

Then he said, "Teach me the alphabet," and I had this idea. I love touching him, and he loves the way it feels.

"You'll be a surgeon who can use sign with deaf patients. Isn't that cool?"

"I am very cool. Keep going."

I bite my lip, throwing words into the mix. I... L-O-V-E... Y-O-U. He raises a hand—pinky, pointer, and thumb out. "You're getting good at this."

"I'm hot for teacher."

I smooth my hand over his back, resting it there for a moment. "I think I might love teaching. I know I have to do four years first in... something. I've never really been able to plan too much, but I want to try."

He turns onto his side, propping himself up on an elbow so he can look at me. "You're patient, smart, and good at making people feel seen." His hazel eyes soften as he studies me messy hair falling across his forehead. "You'll start teacher's college when I start my residency. We'll get each other through these four years first."

I grin, reaching out to smooth the strands away from his face. "Yeah?"

"Well, the alternative is death, so I hope—"

I laugh, covering his mouth. He takes my hand away to say, "When you become a teacher I might have to re-enroll. I wouldn't want to miss out on any extra credit—"

I use two hands this time, giggling as he goes on the offensive and starts tickling me.

Before I can respond, there's a knock at the door.

"Chris! Freckles!" Cam's voice carries through the apartment. "I brought certified nut-free croissants and existential dread! Come eat and spiral with me!"