The Real Secret of Us

I Like You

N'Orm... what can I say? Nasabi ko na siguro ito dati, at hindi ako magsasawang sabihin ito ng paulit-ulit, she's gorgeous, sexy, kind, sweet, thoughtful, clingy, witty, and bubbly, she always makes me laugh and I am happy just simply being around her... nasa kanya na lahat ng katangian na gugustuhin sa isang tao. And every time she holds my hand o kapag nagkakadikit ang aming mga balat, I feel a surge of electricity run through my body, the butterflies in my stomach going wild and my heart would beat erratically. I am in love.

Ngayon ito ang problema ko, how am I going to control myself when I am around her? Kasi wala ng ibang pumapasok sa utak ko kapag magkatabi kami kundi ang halikan siya. Everytime na nakatingin ako sa mukha niya ay napapadpad ang paningin ko sa labi niya at baka mapansin niya ito, she shouldn't know my feelings, just like the role I play, I should keep my feelings hidden. I guess this problem has an advantage as well, kasi I can portray my part perfectly dahil hindi ko na kailangang umarte pa! Sigh!

Parang hindi ako nagtatrabaho kapag kaeksena ko si Orm, I enjoyed every take I had with her dahil nagagawa ko ang mga bagay na gusto kong gawin sa kanya sa pamamagitan ng pag arte kuno. I love her and I care about her, all the emotions I portrayed were real and I think if everyone sees it on the screen, they will be convinced of my "acting skills", just like P'Nay who was very pleased with my performance. Huh kung alam lang nila!

I wonder how Orm feels about working with me or how she feels towards me... that is, if she feels anything for me at all! I wanted to know but how am I going to go about it? How should I start? My mind was filled with thoughts of her, whether she was around or not. I had fallen so hard... and so fast that it scares me. I never felt this way before! What if she finds out? Sa malamang masisira ang maganda naming pinagsamahan at higit sa lahat ay mawawala ang respeto niya sa akin. Nakakatakot talaga.

"Are you alright, P'Ling?" tanong ni Orm sa akin na kitang-kita ang pag-aalala sa maganda niyang mga mata as she gently held my hand and rubbed it with her thumb. Hindi ko napansin na umupo na pala siya sa tabi ko. I was lost in my thoughts... again... sigh, how can I not love this woman? Sobrang maalaga at maalalahanin. I didn't know what to answer or how to answer her, so I just nodded and smiled pero hindi siya kombensido sa naging sagot ko kaya she kept pestering me until I just made an excuse for her to stop na.
"I was just memorizing my lines, Nong Orm". I smiled at her sweetly. I wasn't annoyed by her nonstop prodding, I could never get mad at her because she was so cute that I just wanted to envelop her in my arms and kiss her. Teka? Bakit puro na lang kiss ang laman ng utak ko? Ughhh! Hay! But the reason why I wanted her to stop was because maybe hindi ko mapigil ang sarili ko and would blurt out what I was thinking. And that's just scary!
"Oh." was her short reply then hugged me. "Do you need help?" OMG! She loves doing this and as much as I enjoyed it, it's driving me crazy! Gusto kong kumalas sa pagkakayakap niya dahil it made me feel things I shouldn't, pero hindi ko ginawa dahil it would probably look rude and I might offend her.
"No, but thank you." sabi ko then I patted her head. We were silent, she was still hugging me and all I could do was to pray that she wouldn't hear or feel the beating of my heart that wanted to get out of my chest.

I tried to get away from her hug by making an excuse that I needed to use the comfortroom but she hugged me even tighter.
"A little bit longer, please? I still need to recharge, P'Ling." she snuggled and nuzzled her face against my neck, wala akong ibang choice kundi ang hayaan siya at niyakap ko na lang din siya. This is killing me! I am losing my sanity because of our proximity. Good Lord, please bigyan mo po ako ng lakas ng loob at mahabang pasensya na kontrolin ang emosyon ko! Sobrang napalapit na siya sa akin at ayaw kong mawala siya sa akin.

"Okay, that's enough now, Nong Orm. I badly needed to go to the toilet." I told her after some time and slowly stood up as my thoughts were wreaking havoc, causing turmoil in my once calm and peaceful mind. Alam ko na kasi na kung hindi ako aalis ay siguradong mahahalikan ko na siya dahil sa kung ano-ano na ang pumapasok sa utak ko dahil sa sobrang lapit namin sa isa't-isa. Her warmth and the intoxicating scent of her hair adds fuel to my imagination... which I am even ashamed to think or admit. Kumakapit pa rin siya sa akin, ayaw pa rin akong pakawalan while she was looking up at me with her puppy eyes. N'Orm! Ahhh the temptation! Oh tukso layuan mo ako! Napalunok na lang ako ng laway. I lowered my face, just an inch away for our lips to touch, and that made her back away blushing. Thank goodness! She released my arm, covered her face animatedly and I took that as an opportunity to get away from her. Nagmadali na akong umalis patungo sa banyo hawak-hawak ang aking dibdib dahil sa sobrang lakas at bilis ng tibok ng puso ko. What were you doing to me, Nong Orm!?

Pagkabalik ko ay lumayo na ako sa kanilang lahat and I am sure that they won't find it weird kasi nakilala naman nila ako na mapag-isa, in this way ay hindi halata na umiiwas ako kay Orm. Nakaupo lang ako sa tabi na mag-isa, memorizing my lines and playing the scenes in my head para idideliver ko na lang ang scene na sa tingin ko ay akma at maganda. But the kid won't leave me alone, she would get my attention, makikipagkwentuhan, makikipaglaro at kulitan. Tapos minsan pa sobrang sweet at clingy niya just like now, she linked our arms, entwining our fingers, and her head was on my shoulder, I just wanna tell her that I like her... maybe it will scare her and that she would give me the space I need. Sigh. If you only knew that I like you, N'Orm.
"I like you too, P'Ling." she said barely a whisper. WHAT!!!! WHAT??? Wasn't it just in my mind? Nasabi ko ba ito ng malakas?

Realizing what had just happened made me freaked out, so I suddenly got up and walked as fast as I could to be away from her. I was lightly hitting my forehead with my hand while telling myself 'Stupid Lingling Kwong!' over and over again as I walked further away from her. I really don't know where I was heading, I just don't wanna see Orm! Oh, gawd, anong nagawa ko?