Unwanted Relations

Chapter 24

The silence seemed to fill the night, she didn't knew what time it was, her eyes wide awake, she was not able to sleep as her mind was occupied with millions of thoughts. To her, it seemed like life has just got stuck on one turn. Whenever something good happens, she wasn't even given the chance to celebrate her happiness and suddenly a bad thing happens. First she was anxious about will I be able to study? Then, worried about what will everyone's reaction be after getting to know about me being enrolled in a collage. And now she was embarrassed that the house's atmosphere had been tensed once again and she was the reason. And this time because of her, Umer also got stuck in this mess. He went against his family because of her. Noor knew exactly how much Umer loved dadi and how much he respects her but today he denied and refused Dadi only because of her. He disobeyed dadi for her. Noor's guilt grew. Am I burden? That whoever stands with me gets stuck in a difficulty? Yes, I'm a burden for Umer. A burden which he could never throw away no matter how much he wanted. And if he does end this burden then his life would become so easy. He was fulfilling the relationship born out of necessity like a burden. Suddenly, she felt a sharp pain within her. Looking around at everything, she was reflecting at her own inadequacies. She truly felt like a burden. Tears were streaming down from her eyes. She wondered how unpleasant she must be for Umer? How did he tolerate her?

She clutched her head and wept uncontrollably. khala, out of pity, had ruined the life of her capable son. She could have studied, but how? By putting someone else in trouble? By creating difficulties not just for herself but for him too?

Noor suddenly found it hard to breathe; she tried to stop her tears. Her vision blurry. Barely managing to regain control over her tears, she became silent. Feeling uncomfortable in her own existence. She had no idea, what level of inferiority complex she was experiencing. Her thoughts came to stop, interrupted by the sound of the door opening. In surprise, she suddenly felt scared about who it might be at this moment. She quickly wiped her tears from the back of her hand and adjusted her appearance before sitting up. The door opened, it was Umer. She looked at him and then immediately averted her gaze.

" you are awake till now?" He asked coming inside, his voice normal. He looked at Noor, he wasn't surprised seeing her awake at this time. Noor tried to read his face, he was expression less-blank, she was surprised.

" I was not able to sleep."

Umer didn't said anything in response. He was searching for something in the drawer. Noor looked at him. What was he looking for? He must be planning to stay up all night.

After a minute, Umer turned to walk out again. He put his hand on the handle of the door when suddenly, Noor spoke up.

" I want to talk to you." She announced.

Umer stopped his movement, his hand slide down the handle. He turned to her. " yes."

" I...I don't want to study." She said, not meeting his gaze. For a moment, she herself was surprised on her sentence. But the person standing in front of her wasn't surprised nor shocked. He looked at her like she just said something very normal or said nothing at all.

" why?"

" I just don't want to study. I thought about this a lot and...I don't think so I can study." She was saying this in surprise. The unwillingness visible in her voice.

" tumhare Jawaab se to bilkuk nhi lagta ke tumne is bare mai socha hai."

She couldn't understand whether he was mocking her or just telling her the truth.

" please, don't question me anymore. I have decided that I do not want to study." She said, this time with confidence. She felt like she was losing so much from her own hands. The dreams she had always envisioned, now slipping away from her.