When Love Break Ties

Chapter 25: Nathan's Doubts

Nathan sat alone in the small café near the workshop, the usual hum of Tokyo's bustling streets fading into the background as his mind swirled with thoughts. The past few days had felt like a blur since Abby's revelation about her painful past. He'd barely slept, and each moment spent in silence seemed to pull him deeper into his own thoughts. As he absentmindedly stirred his coffee, Nathan couldn't shake the feeling that something fundamental had shifted between them.

Abby's secret had rattled him to his core. Not just because of the gravity of what she had gone through, but because it had made him question everything—her, himself, their relationship. He had spent so long believing that their love was something pure, something that could stand apart from the difficulties of family and past trauma. But now, Nathan was beginning to realize just how much Abby's influence had seeped into every aspect of his life, altering his perceptions, his values, and even the way he viewed his own family.

He pulled out his notebook, flipping through the pages of his writing. He had used this journal to scribble down his thoughts and ideas ever since the workshop had begun. But as he scanned the pages now, he noticed a pattern—his words had grown darker, more cynical. His once hopeful ideas about love and family had been replaced with bitterness, sharp criticism, and detachment.

When had that happened? When had he become this version of himself?

Nathan sighed, closing the notebook with a soft thud. He thought back to the early days of his relationship with Abby. She had been a whirlwind—exciting, bold, and unapologetically independent. She had challenged him, pushed him out of his comfort zone, and opened his eyes to perspectives he had never considered before. He had admired her strength, her ability to stand firm in her beliefs despite the chaos surrounding her.

But now, sitting here alone, Nathan wondered if he had been so captivated by Abby's world that he had lost sight of his own.

His phone buzzed on the table, jolting him from his thoughts. It was a message from his sister, Maria.

Maria: Hey, Kuya! How's everything? We miss you here in Manila. I know you've been busy, but Mom's been asking about you. Any chance you'll visit soon?

Nathan stared at the message for a long moment, his heart sinking. He hadn't spoken to his family much since arriving in Tokyo, and even when they had reached out, he found himself avoiding their calls or offering half-hearted responses.

It hadn't always been like this. Before Abby, he had been close to his family. He had always valued their opinions, their guidance, and their love. But now, with Abby's voice echoing in his mind, he found himself resenting them in ways he had never expected. Abby had spoken often about the toxicity of family relationships, how they could be suffocating and manipulative. She had shared her own bitterness toward her family, and slowly, without realizing it, Nathan had started to adopt her worldview as his own.

He didn't recognize himself anymore.

As he tapped out a brief response to his sister, promising to call soon, Nathan felt a wave of guilt wash over him. He missed his family. He missed the simplicity of their conversations, the warmth of their home, and the sense of belonging he had always found in their presence. But at the same time, there was a part of him that resented them, that felt suffocated by their expectations. He knew that much of that resentment had been born out of his relationship with Abby.

He couldn't help but wonder—had Abby's influence really been a positive one? Or had she, unintentionally or otherwise, led him down a path that was pulling him away from everything he had once held dear?

Nathan leaned back in his chair, staring up at the ceiling of the café. He could still hear Abby's voice in his head, her words from countless conversations they had shared about family, about love, about the world. At first, he had been enthralled by her sharp intellect, her refusal to conform to societal expectations. But now, he was beginning to see the cracks in that perspective.

Was it possible that he had become too entrenched in Abby's bitterness? Had her cynicism about family relationships warped his own views?

Nathan thought about the way he had begun to treat his parents. In the past, he had always made time for them, listened to their advice, and respected their opinions. But now, after months with Abby, he had started to see them as overbearing, even controlling. He had distanced himself from them, justifying it with Abby's reasoning that family could often be a source of pain rather than support.

But was that really true? Or had he been too quick to accept her narrative as his own?

He sighed again, rubbing his temples in frustration. Abby's influence had undoubtedly changed him, but now he wasn't sure if that change had been for the better.

Nathan's mind drifted back to the conversation they had shared a few days ago when she revealed her deepest secret. The pain in her voice had been raw, and he could see how deeply her past had affected her. But he also knew that her trauma had colored her view of relationships, particularly those with family. She had spent so many years building walls to protect herself from further hurt, and in doing so, she had created a barrier between herself and the possibility of healing.

Nathan began to wonder if he had done the same. Had he, too, been building walls—walls that kept his family at a distance, walls that shielded him from confronting his own emotions? He had always prided himself on being someone who valued family, who cherished the bonds that had shaped him. But now, those bonds felt frayed, weakened by the weight of Abby's influence.

He wasn't sure what to do with these thoughts. He loved Abby, there was no doubt about that. But he was starting to see that love alone wasn't enough to navigate the complexities of their relationship. He had allowed himself to be swayed by her views, and in doing so, he had lost touch with his own.

Nathan glanced down at his phone again, re-reading Maria's message. He could almost hear his mother's voice in the background, asking when her eldest son would return home. The guilt gnawed at him, but so did the frustration. He didn't know how to reconcile these conflicting emotions.

As the afternoon sun dipped lower in the sky, casting a warm glow over the city, Nathan made a decision. He needed to find balance again. He needed to reconnect with the parts of himself that had been pushed aside during his time with Abby. That didn't mean abandoning her or their relationship, but it did mean taking a step back and reassessing who he had become.

He couldn't keep running from his doubts, nor could he continue to ignore the growing distance between him and the values he had once held so dearly. Abby had been a significant part of his life, but she wasn't the only part. Nathan realized that he needed to rediscover his own identity, separate from hers, and figure out what he truly believed—about family, about love, and about himself.

Nathan stood up, pocketing his phone and gathering his notebook. He wasn't sure what the next steps would be, but he knew that he had to start by confronting the doubts that had been gnawing at him for so long.

As he left the café and stepped out onto the busy Tokyo streets, he felt a sense of clarity he hadn't felt in months. This wasn't the end of his relationship with Abby, but it was the beginning of a new chapter—one where he would start to find himself again.