DxD: Ascension - Redux

Chapter 55: Heaven's Joker

This chapter marks the beginning of Volume XII: The Mechanical Seraph. Enjoy!

Kuoh Academy

"Zach, wait up a sec!" Irina called as she followed Zach out of the classroom.
"Hey, Irina. Haven't seen you much lately," Zach said with a small smile as he stopped for her to catch up. "What, is our little angel suddenly too good for us impure beings of darkness?"
"It's not that. Lady Gabriel's just had me busy lately and-"
"Don't worry, I'm just kidding. What's up?"
Irina's expression turned uncharacteristically serious. "Lady Gabriel's given you and I a top-priority assignment."
"Yeah? What's that?"
"It's time to find Metatron."
Zach sighed. "So Gabriel's finally getting on my ass about that, huh?"
"What do you mean, finally?"
"Oh, guess she didn't tell you. Months and months ago, after the Khaos Brigade first introduced itself, Gabriel requested that I find him," Zach explained as they began walking again. "And again right before Apex Manor was built. Surprised she's dropped it for so long, to be honest."
"If you got orders straight from a Seraph, why'd you just ignore them?"
"I didn't ignore them," Zach protested. "I did some research to try and find him, but didn't turn up much of anything useful, so I postponed the hunt while I dealt with more important stuff. Besides, she didn't really order me to find him. More like a polite request."
"More important? Metatron could be the key to beating the Brigade! Back in the Great War, he-"
"He singlehandedly turned the tide of the war in Heaven's favor, blah blah blah," Zach finished. "I've read the reports and Gabriel's talked my ear off. Why're you so invested in this, Irina?"
"Because my leaders personally ordered me to find him. Besides, I wanna stop the Brigade as fast as we can so we can get back to living happy lives. Or... happy-ish, I guess."
"Got a point there," Zach admitted. "Okay. Let's head back to the house so I can drop my stuff off and kidnap Arthur, then we'll go."
"Why do we need Arthur?"
"I wanna start bringing our probationary roommates on field trips to see how they operate and get a better grasp of their strengths and weaknesses. Arthur's first on the list."
"Makes sense." Irina took out her phone. "I'll let our handler know to meet us there," she said as she texted someone.
"Handler?" Zach frowned. "I'm the handler."
"For Vali and his friends, yeah, but then there's a handler above us too."
"Who's handling us?"
"Only the strongest man I know besides the faction leaders."
"That's what people used to call me too," Zach pouted. "Why's this guy taking all my roles?"
"Every deck of Uno cards has a few wilds in it, right?" Irina reminded him as they passed through the school gates. "Anyway. He's been wanting to meet you for a while."
"Ugh. Fine. He's not gonna be waiting on our couch already when we get back, right?"

Apex Manor

Zach and Irina entered the family room to find a handsome young man with blond hair and sea green eyes waiting on their couch. He wore the uniform of an exorcist with a white cloak fastened around his shoulders.
"God dammit, he's on our couch," Zach grumbled as they approached him. "Hi. Guessing you're our so-called handler?"
The stranger nodded. "That's me. Good to see you again, Irina." His voice was very pleasant to listen to.
Irina bowed. "Same to you. Zach, this is Mr. Gesualdo. He's the strongest exorcist in the world and Lord Michael's Joker."
"Oh, please, just call me Dulio. There's no need for formalities."
"Dulio Gesualdo..." Zach thought hard for a moment. "Where have I heard that name before? Oh, Azazel told me about you. You're the wielder of Zenith Tempest, right?"
"Right again," Dulio confirmed. "It's a pleasure to finally meet the newly-crowned Daemon."
"I wouldn't put that much reverence on it, really. It's just a power like any other."
"Like any other? Hardly. There have only been six Daemons throughout history, you know, and all of them were considered X-Class threats by Heaven. And you and our enemy are the last two alive."
"So I've been told. If I remember right, an X-Class threat is basically the top tier of potentially dangerous people, right? Above even SS-Classes, like Kuroka or Vali." Zach dropped his bag on the couch and went to the kitchen, digging through the pantry. "So, Mr. Handler, I hear we're tracking down your lost sentient superweapon. Sounds like a fun time." He found what he was looking for: a pack of Oreos. "Mind if I bring Arthur?" he asked before eating a cookie.
"The wielder of Caliburn? You won't hear any complaints from me. We'll need all the help we can get."
"Ominous." Zach returned to the couch and sat next to Dulio. "Sounds like you already have an idea of where Metatron is, and it's not good."
Dulio nodded grimly. He took and ate an Oreo before saying, "Metatron is hiding in a truly godless place of utter chaos. Are you familiar with Florida?"
Zach paled immediately. "Florida? Oh, no. No, no, no, I swore never to go back there after I got duct-taped to a ceiling. And I look awful in shorts."
Irina cocked her head. "How'd that happen?"
"That's the thing, I never found out. It just happened." Zach shook his head. "Nuh-uh. Florida is a no-go."
"Unfortunately, Florida is our destination, duct tape or no duct tape. Recruiting Metatron is of the utmost importance."
"What part of Florida?"
"A city called Orlando. I was told you're familiar?"
"Well..." Zach sighed. "There are worse places to go. At least it's not Tally. But yeah, I've been my share of times."
"Oh, that's where Disney World is!" Irina said excitedly. "Do you think we'll have time for a detour?"
"Actually, about that." Dulio chuckled. "The reason we know Metatron is in Orlando is because we were able to make remote contact with him. He seemed in a state of disrepair, but he managed to tell us that he sees thousands of children and families every day and hears the sounds of glee and amusement almost constantly. Among other vague hints. We believe he's in a theme park, but we're unsure of which one."
"Here's hoping he's at Universal rather than Disney," Zach scoffed. "Me and the Unholy Mouse don't get along. Besides, the rides are way better."
"What's your deal with Disney?" Irina asked.
"Loooong story. So, Dulio, what's your angle? Shut down the park by order of a made-up government agency and investigate freely? Or blend in with the tourists and do this covertly?"
"I would prefer the second option. It would lead to less questions being asked."
"I thought the same. I'll get Arthur and we'll work out a plan." Zach stood. "And stop stealing my cookies," he added with a sharp glare before walking off. "Arthur! Where are you?"
Irina smiled awkwardly as Zach disappeared around a corner. "Well, that's Zach. I know he can be a lot, but he really is a great hero, I swear."
"I've not a doubt in my mind," Dulio promised. "He's got an edge, but he has a heart of gold. I see why you like him, Irina."
Irina blushed. "W-well, duh, I like him! It's hard not to. But... I'm starting to worry he doesn't feel the same way."
"Hm? Why's that?"
"He went on a trip with another girl last weekend and she's been staying over with him since then, and he seems to be spending every possible moment with her. It's crazy, like he fell totally in love over a couple of days."
"Emotions are a fickle thing, no? Perhaps it's just a form of recency bias. After all, outside of school, you've been spending most of your time the past week or so in Heaven with the Seraphs and I, while this other girl has been spending time with Zach in your absence. Maybe this mission is your chance to win him over," Dulio suggested.
"Win who over?" Zach asked as he returned, Arthur Pendragon following him. "Arthur, this is the guy I was telling you about. Dulio Gesualdo."
Arthur bowed. "It's an honor to meet you, sir. I look forward to working together."
Dulio smiled at the newcomer. "The pleasure is mine, Arthur. And please, call me Dulio. Now that everyone's here, we should begin planning. And if you ask me, the best place to plan a mission is over a good dinner. Zach, do you know of any good restaurants in town?"
"So that's your silly quirk. You're a foodie. Gimme a sec." Zach thought for a moment. "Honestly, Kuoh is pretty mediocre as far as restaurants go, but Tokyo's only an hour away and I know this amazing cafe there with the best coffee and curry in the world."
"Curry?" Dulio's eyes lit up. "Let's be off!"
"Guess that's decided, then. Are we teleporting there, or not? I can drive us, if you and Arthur don't mind squeezing into the back of my Porsche. There's not much leg room, but it's survivable."
"Driving is fine," Arthur said.
"If you would like to drive, then let's drive," Dulio agreed.
Irina smiled at Zach. "You've never taken me in the Porsche before. Let's do it!"
"Alright, sweet. I'm gonna go change, you guys probably should too. Especially you two." Zach looked at Dulio and Arthur. "The suit and exorcist uniform will stick out like a sore thumb." With that, Zach wisped away, headed for his bedroom.