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September 2nd, 2024
I woke up again, bummer, this is really the way I've been since I was about nine. Numb is really the only feeling I truly feel.
Back then I would have killed to be loved and cherished by at least one person, but now that I know that it's impossible, the numbness has become so strong.
You may think it's a bad thing but it keeps me from getting all emotional and crying about stuff that I know won't ever change.
I'm super grateful for every good thing in my life, which isn't much, but whatever.
I'm thankful for my older sister Makayla even though she moved away and doesn't communicate with me much, I'm grateful that she even cares enough to check in when she does.
She has a life of her own up in New York, and I'm all the way in Georgia.
I'm thankful for my favorite teacher, she's always made sure school was a bit enjoyable for me, and made it her mission to talk to me daily since I don't have friends.
Lastly I'm thankful for Bruce and Nana the older couple that owns a diner up the street from me for being nice to me and making sure I was fed when I didn't have food to eat, and giving me a job.
See I have some people the probably do care about me in some way, so I'll make sure they get their letter and a proper goodbye from me.
Knocking myself out of thoughts, I got up to get ready for school, picking out some baggy ripped jeans, a regular white tank top, and my graphic hoodie to wear along with my black converse.
I didn't too much care to keep up with the trends, I go to school comfortably.
After getting an outfit together I got all of my hygiene essentials and went to take a hot shower.
After a 20 minute shower I dried off and moisturized before putting my clothes on.
I freshened up my curls with water and a little hair lotion, mostly because I don't know how to do my own hair, I was never taught how to.
My curls come damn near to my mid back, I take care of them as best as I can.
After slipping on my shoes and tying them I was completely done dressing. Lastly I grabbed my backpack and earbuds.
It's currently 7:00am, school starts at 8:30 but I like to walk there and it's About an hour walk.
I walked out of my room to see that my parents aren't here, at least my day isn't starting off horribly.
I grabbed a couple water bottles and made my way outside, pulling my headphones, and plugging them into my phone then into my ears.
Jocelyn Flores by XXXTENTACION blasted on full volume.
