Call Out

Susana Ayala

Man, I hate breathing.

   To put it the simplest way possible, school sucks. I don't need to learn about the significance of Lady Macbeth's 'unsex me' speech nor do I need to live life memorising -b±√(b²-4ac)/2a, I'm fine off without any of these things. Then there are also unnecessary changes and decisions made. I'm never paying an extra 20 cents for a Walmart version of potato cake at our price-inflated canteen and I will most definitely not tuck my shirt in no matter how many teachers scold me at the expense of my decision, go ahead, rip apart your head. It's just clothing and I'll do whatever in my life even if that means pissing off a teacher or two and landing myself in detention.

   So many unnecessary things.

   So many unneeded concepts.

   Oxygen is lame, breathing is overrated. If air really was the best and a total 10/10 product then maybe it should just consider evolving further to the point where humans no longer have to breathe. And if you're thinking about a therapist, those ones won't solve air's dysfunctionality.

   Time is cringe, it's a one time purchase that can't be refunded for? Who thought of capping a day's limit to 24 hours? Why didn't they take into account the time when you're not doing anything? Like, surely, we attain the ability to stockpile and save the minutes that aren't used so then we could access it later at a later time, it would make everything better that way.

   Sleeping the wrong amount of hours will result in you being just as tired as if you just didn't sleep? That's just straight-up senseless, you're telling me that my body will unalive itself after approximately 264 hours of no sleep? I can't even stockpile sleep either? That an average human spends at least 25 years of their life just sleeping? That people suffer from symptoms such as insomnia and then you can't sleep? What?

   Eating is quite an unexciting action, same goes for the consumption of water. What do you mean by our body not being able to produce the 20 amino acids required to sustain our existence? Are you telling me that if we don't go out of our way to consume the required amino acids we will suffer from health conditions? Are you saying that we will thirst and die if we don't drink water? Oh I forgot, I didn't mention that consuming certain foods will make your life harder or in fact, kill you outright. If you eat too much sugar you'll get diabetes and if you eat too much fat you'll get high cholesterol, amazing. Really? Some berries and mushrooms are poisonous and you'll die eating puffer fish if it's not prepared properly? That's kind of dumb.

   Everyone calls me negative and the 'complainer' but I'm just stating facts. Yes, there are major problems that can be fixed if we try. The current elephant in the room would obviously be global warming, yes it's been proven to be reversible. I read somewhere that scientists are developing technology to just grab the carbon dioxide out of the atmosphere but that's probably going to take a while. If we try, anyone can help reduce their carbon footprint by doing little things. We can always reduce, reuse, recycle or switch to a renewable source of energy but there's a reason why we don't. Everyone just needs a little kick in the arse to get it right, humans are disgustingly lazy creatures and I'm no exception to this.

   What did you expect? We literally live in a capitalist society where money and wealth are worth more than preserving the very planet we're living on. Don't get me started on the fact that humans create currency and the concept of economy. But who cares? The perfectly valid counter-argument to any statement is that the sun is going to explode in about five million years and I bet for a fact that humanity can't even last that long to begin with so why bother now?

   Look, the squids and octopi from Splatoon are going to roam the Earth one day when all of humanity goes extinct and even then, they would do a better job at managing the planet than us in a few hundred years.