Through My Eyes

High School Final Part

Not going to lie, I'm in a dark ass place literally and figuratively as I'm writing this.  As you know I usually vent a bit before delving into my past, so bear with me.  The best decision I've ever did was accept the fact that my marriage was over, and I wasn't going to drown myself to the hope that it would get better.  I was married for seven years and to be honest the only time I was happy was the first year of that marriage.  I exhausted everything to try to make it work, but nothing was ever good enough no matter what I did.  Didn't stop her cheating, not putting forth an effort, she was just a selfish person who drowned me, yet I was too blind to notice how miserable I was till I really had enough.  I guess I really am a masochist in a way, how could someone hang onto too something for so long that never gave you chance to begin with.  I paid all the bills, I worked 60-hour weeks, made effort to spend time with her, I fucking slaved for this person, and she did nothing.  But ever since I realized my worth, i started feeling happier, as soon as I made progress for myself, I became better, and before you know it? What hurt you the most became nothing more than a scar of a distant memory soon to be forgotten.  By the way listening to Lonely Road by mgk and jelly roll.  I always listen to music when I write fyi, but let's get this shit over and get this final part over.  would've been 8 years today.  

So, we ended the last part with my dick ruining a friendship and me feeling like a total prick.   Alright so picking off where I left off, I was going into my senior year, my mother lost her job and fell into depression and addiction.  Between the pills and booze, I never got a day where my mother was sober.  The bills stacked up, and I basically went the whole year without heat, hot water, and where we lived, it would get to -20 degrees.  So, times where tough I got angry, at life, and at everyone.  My older brother was off a college and didn't look back when he left, haven't seen my father since he left, here I was a 17-year-old kid trying to figure out how to scrap by.  

Think it couldn't get worse but at school the homecoming dance was coming up and I was riding solo.  There was this kid Andy, he had down syndrome and he was a big fan of mine.  He was the equipment manager for the wrestling team, I even once at practice let him wrestle a match against me and of course I let him beat me.  I wish y'all could've seen the look on his face that day.  I was always cool with Andy and treated him like I did Connor as one of my boys.  Well Andy came up to me one morning as we roamed the halls of the school before the first period bell rang.  He said he was going to ask a girl to the dance, but he was nervous to ask.   I told Andy to go for it, the worst she can say is no bud, and if she does you still got me bud.  Andy smiled and said I'm going to go ask her right now.  I fucked up I should've asked who he was going to ask, because he was going to ask the captain of the football team's girlfriend.  American football for all my world readers, don't ask why we call football soccer believe I'm with you, I love my football and rugby as much as the next guy. But Ice Hockey is king, anyways Connor came running down the hall saying Ben they are beating on Andy, I looked, and I saw three football players pushing Andy against a locker and I heard the girl's boyfriend say you must really be retarded if you think you can ask my girl to homecoming.  

Now I've only seen the camera footage of what I did but I really don't remember what happened other then I just fucking snapped.  From the footage I sent all three of them to the hospital causing them not able to play in the homecoming game, and to make matters worse as i was beating the team captains face in, the school police resource officer came in behind to break it up and he grabbed me from behind and I turned to punch the officer in the face, before knowing who it was.  Needless to say, I got arrested and taken to jail, I was suspended from school for two weeks.  I spent three days in a jail cell because the police couldn't get ahold of my mother because or phone got shut off, but thankfully Oscar heard what happened and he came to bail me out.  

Oscar took me back to the gym, and he did the one thing I never would've thought I needed.  He hugged me and I cried, I was so angry and tired of everything in my life, that Oscar coming to my rescue was everything I needed.  Oscar asked me what happened, and I told him why I did what he did, and Oscar said he was proud of me.  In my mind I'm like your proud of me, I put three people in the hospital.  Oscar said I did what he thought me, I protected someone who couldn't protect himself.  He told me I picked up his training so well because I am a natural protector and as long as you're protecting someone or something from harm or can't protect themselves it's never wrong to fight for that.  Oscar went to the principal of the school and told them what happened, and they said they would review my case at the administrative hearing as they were thinking of expelling me from school.  So, I stayed at the gym with Oscar for two weeks, not once did I get a call from my mother or anyone in my family.  Only Connor and a few friends.  

It was time for my hearing with the school board and I can't even describe to tell you how it felt sitting in that room with all the administrators, the parents of the boys i beat up, and many other parents of kids at the school who were concerned for their kid's safety because of me.  I was called horrible things by these people, but once I had my chance to speak Oscar came in and spoke for me, he called Andy in and Andy explained what happened,  and Oscar said he had a copy of the camera footage and what would the news think about this if you expelled a student for defending a kid with down syndrome from three bullies.  Oscar saved me and i was reinstated back to the school but the damage to my image was done, nobody wanted their kids to be anywhere near me, so I feel all the way down of the social ladder in school.  

Oscar in my life was like the father I always wanted, and unfortunately the last two months of school he went back to Cuba to visit family, and he never made it back, he was murdered while trying to break up a bar fight.  Apparently one of the guys in the fight he broke up decided to go outside the bar grab his gun and come back inside and shoot Oscar in the head.  I never got to visit his grave in Cuba till about a year ago right after my divorce and I truly miss him every day.  I'm starting to tear up a bit here so I'm going to finish off this chapter.  Everyone was leaving for college after high school and i had no plan, till a military recruiter grabbed my attention.  I signed up right then and there.  Okay guys that's it, for my non adult years.  But the adventure isn't over yet.  Got to get up early to watch my club Newcastle united play.  Good bye for now.