Why Wont Anyone Love Me

Chapter 12: What If Things Were Different

The days blurred together, each one carrying a weight I could barely lift. The nightmares hadn't stopped. In fact, they seemed to grow stronger, more vivid—like they were coming for me, determined to drag me back into that hell. But I held onto the only thing that kept me grounded: Shadow. He was always there, always steady. Even when the darkness threatened to swallow me whole, he was the light that pulled me back.

It was hard to admit, but the more I thought about it, the more I realized: Shadow was my anchor.

We didn't talk much after that night. There was something unspoken between us, like we both knew the other had scars—some visible, some buried deep—and neither of us wanted to dig too deep just yet. But sometimes, in those quiet moments, I could feel his eyes on me, studying me in a way that made me uneasy and comforted at the same time.

We didn't need words to understand each other.

That afternoon, we sat side by side on the couch, both lost in our own thoughts. Shadow had his arm draped across the backrest, and I was staring blankly at the wall. The silence between us was thick, but not uncomfortable. It was... familiar.

I had to break it. I couldn't stand the weight of it anymore.

"Shadow?" I asked, my voice low.

He didn't look at me right away, but I could feel his attention shift toward me.

"Yeah?" His voice was soft, careful, like he was bracing for something.

"Do you ever think... do you ever think about what you could've had? If things were different? If... you weren't alone all the time?"

He didn't answer immediately. I could see his jaw tighten, his eyes narrowing as if he was weighing the question carefully. For a moment, I thought he wouldn't answer at all. But then he turned to face me, his gaze locked onto mine.

"Sometimes," he admitted quietly. "But it's pointless to think about. The past is... gone. There's no changing it. The only thing I can do now is keep moving forward." He paused, and I could see something flicker in his eyes. "But Sonic... You don't have to be alone, either."

I shifted in my seat, trying to process his words. I had never been good at asking for help, never good at letting others in. But Shadow... Shadow was different. He had been through hell, and yet, he was here, offering me the one thing I thought I would never have again.

His presence. His support.

"I'm trying," I said, my voice a little hoarse. "I just... I don't know how to let go of everything. How to stop it from... controlling me."

"You don't have to let go all at once." Shadow's voice was firm, but gentle. "You don't have to figure it out right now. But you do need to let me help you. I'm not going anywhere, Sonic. I promise."

His words, simple and quiet, settled into me like a calm breeze. Maybe I could let him in, just a little. Maybe, together, we could find a way out of this darkness.

I swallowed hard, forcing my emotions to stay in check. "I don't deserve your help."

"You deserve it more than anyone," he said, his voice unwavering. "We're both broken in our own ways. But that doesn't mean we can't fix each other. You don't have to be perfect, Sonic. You just have to keep trying."

I met his gaze, and for the first time in what felt like forever, I saw something that resembled hope in his eyes. Not the kind of hope that was fleeting or naïve, but a deep, quiet understanding. A promise.

"I'll try," I said, my voice barely above a whisper. "I'll try... for you."

Shadow nodded, his lips curling into a small, almost imperceptible smile. It wasn't the kind of smile I was used to seeing from him. It wasn't smug or sarcastic. It was something softer, something... real.

And that was all I needed.

The rest of the day passed in a haze. Shadow and I stayed close, like we always did, but there was a new undercurrent between us—an unspoken promise that maybe, just maybe, we could heal together. Slowly, but surely.

That night, when I finally managed to fall asleep, it was different. I still dreamt, but this time, Shadow was there in the darkness with me. He wasn't just sitting by the bed; he was holding me close, keeping the nightmares at bay. His presence was like a shield, protecting me from the monsters lurking in my mind.

The next morning, I woke up feeling a little less heavy, like the weight of the world wasn't entirely on my shoulders. Shadow was still asleep, sprawled out next to me. It was strange, seeing him so peaceful. Usually, he was always so serious, always on guard. But now, he looked... calm. Like, for once, he was letting himself rest.

I slid out of bed quietly, careful not to wake him, and tiptoed into the kitchen. My stomach growled loudly, reminding me that I hadn't eaten much the day before. I grabbed a box of cereal, but before I could pour myself a bowl, I heard footsteps behind me.

Shadow appeared in the doorway, looking groggy but alert. He rubbed his eyes and glanced at the cereal box in my hands.

"You hungry?" he asked, his voice still rough from sleep.

I nodded shyly, feeling a little embarrassed. "Yeah..."

Without another word, Shadow stepped forward, taking the box from me. He opened the cupboard, grabbing a bowl, and started pouring the cereal for me. I watched him in silence, my heart swelling with an unfamiliar warmth. It wasn't just the act of him feeding me—it was the care behind it, the way he didn't even hesitate to help me.

When he handed me the bowl, I mumbled a quiet, "Thanks."

He chuckled softly. "No problem, Kiddo"

I blushed, He called me kiddo, it felt amazing. I took the bowl and sitting down at the table. Shadow sat across from me, watching me eat with a small, amused smile on his face. It felt strange, having him watching me like that, but in a good way. Like we were slowly becoming... something more.