Unveiling The Secrets of Enigmatic Hearts

Unexpected Encounter

Hesitant

The polished wood of the door felt smooth in my fingertips, the scent of dusts are filling my nostrils. Above the door, there's a brass lettering gleaming: Professor Xelvian's Office.  My heart pounded against my ribs, a frantic drumbeat of frustration. My mind is literally a mess as it keeps meddling with my heart's desire.

I've been skipping philosophy classes since my first year, a solemn rebelion against the no uphold subject. My passed professors hadn't even bothered to reach out for me, and stated to fail me with no second thought.  Pero itong prof ko ngayon? He's different. Why would he even bothered to have an appointment with me? With those hectic schedules as a professor, I would not think of something negotiable, and would just give my student a failing grade. Okay lang naman kung i-inform niya lang ako through g-mail, na bagsak ako. Tanggap ko naman.

I felt like a cemented-statue as I remained standing infront of this huge wooden door. My hand tried to reach out for the doorknob, it hovered above, my fingers trembling like I've done something wrong. The hallway was silent, along with the dim fluorescent lights, accompanied by the muffled sounds from the classrooms. Nakaramdam ako ng parang may tinik na nakabaon sa lalamunan ko. I was struggling to breath normally, my heart is racing rapidly against my rib as my chest is tightening.

I tried to take some deep breath, trying to calm myself. But the air felt heavy, and suffocating. I embraced myself for the inevitable thought: a stern look, intimidating presence, invalidation of my perspective and feelings, a confrontation that would question my cynicism. I was expecting disappointment, a knowledge that was not in my vocabulary, a forceful feeding of words that would go again my cynical worldview.

I sighed as I saw a girl beside me on my peripheral vision. It was a girl, taller than me, holding a red folder and looking at her watch, in her wrist.

"Miss?" Her voice mumbled.

"Miss?" She asked again, she confusedly lowered her knees as she took a gaze of my bowing head.

"A-Anya?" I stiffened when I heard her call my name, I hesitantly turned to her with my gaze, avoiding hers.

"Jusko teh, mukha kang shy girl na takot na takot sa mundo, at bakit ka nandito?" Emphaya remarked.

Emphaya is my friend, we're in the same class. She's the only girl I got befriended with, she's against cynicism of love, but she never had invalidated me. She tries to understand my belief. Naging matalik ko siyang kaibigan dahil sa kabila ng lahat ay hindi ko man lang naranasang mabalewala tuwing kasama ko siya. She always makes me laugh through nonsense and silly jokes of her.

"E-emph..." My shrilling voice whispered.

She gently put her hand in my back as she assisted me, dahan dahan kaming naglakad papunta sa malaking poste rito sa hallway at tumigil kami sa gilid nito.

"Bakit nakatayo ka ron?" Her voice softened.

"I-I was...." My voice is filled with hesitance.

"Sa office nung professor natin sa philosophy? Dahil ba sa sinabi ko sayo kahapon?" She asked as she looked at me worriedly, her forehead wrinkled and her eyes with gentle and care looking at me as I nodded.

"Gusto mo... samahan kita?" Pag-alok niya.

"Tsaka, pupunta rin ako kay prof eh. Ire-reklamo ko grades ko sakaniya." Dagdag pa niya, kasabay noon ang paghigpit ng hawak niya sa kulay pulang folder.

"No, Emph. I...I can.. do this, ano bang meron sakaniya? Tangina, kung ano man. Hindi ko dapat katakutan yon." I replied as I clenched my teeth. Yet why do I struggled to even take some action? I felt like I was a prisoner of my own fear.