hiraeth

Chapter 3

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Memories

TW Abuse

I lay still and quiet, listening to his angry grumbles and jumping at any bang or crash.
"You're afraid of me?!" He shouted.
"I took you off the streets! Saved you from being preyed on, and you repay me with fear?"
He stormed towards me, grabbing my face roughly and yanking me up from the bed. Holding me by my face as I stood there expressionless.
"You should be grateful, are you not fucking grateful!" He screamed.
He gripped onto the side my face harder now, his fingers digging into my cheek, raised his other open hand and slammed it into the side of my head.

The force knocked me to the side and he let me fall to the ground. Moving so he was stood over me. Tears welled up in my eyes as my desperate attempts to not cry failed miserably. He shook his head as he stared down at me, a disappointed look on his gorgeous face. Bringing a shaky hand to my aching jaw and ear, I sniffled softly, my reluctant tears morphing into sobs.

He crouched down, placing his hand over mine, I tried my hardest not to flinch when he brought his other hand up to cup my cheek. Using his thumb to wipe away my tears, he smiled softly, his eyes now gentle. "Hey." He smiled.
"Shh, come on now." He pulled me into his chest, stroking my hair.
His arms tightened slightly. My body stilled, I was too afraid to move from him even though I knew what he was going to do.
He held the back of my head with one hand his other hand on the middle of my back as his grip around me started to hurt, I let a frantic gasp, fear ripping through me.
"Wait." I cried softly.
My voice was high and weak with fear.

I cried out, his grip only getting stronger around me. I couldn't breathe! I tried to pull away, but he had me pressed so tightly against him I couldn't move. I was only able to let out short gasps now, the pressure on my chest heavy. No, no, no!

I let out a harsh gasp, my chest heaving. Searching the room with wide eyes. My body aching as I leaned forward on the chair, resting my elbows on my knees. It was just me and Bella. Just us.
I let out a shaky, weary breath, my lip trembling. I rubbed my face with my hands and stood up. It had just been a dream, a nightmare. Words that I found did nothing to comfort me because it had only been two months since I had been living that nightmare. And I still had no idea what was next for me.

The clock read 2:23 a.m., glancing down at Bella, who was led on her side, snoring softly.

My hands were shaky both from the nightmare, but also because I hadn't eaten since yesterday morning.
I bit my lip, not wanting her to wake up and think I was gone. I turned and picked up my black fleece jacket, pulled it on over my grey hoodie, and walked towards the door.

Glancing out of the hallway but not fully stepping out of the room, my dad caught my eye. He sat in one of the four chairs to the right of the door, head leant back, hat covering his eyes. I then looked up and opposite him, leaning against the pale grey wall was Edward. I stared at him. He had the same expression as when I first saw him, calm and relaxed, but his body was still. Creepily so.

I cleared my throat, his golden eyes opened, squinting slightly.
"I.. I need to eat." I stared at him awkwardly, him looking back with a calm look on his chiselled face. "I don't want her to wake up on her own, you know.. don't want her to think I left." Not saying anything, he pushed himself off of the wall, uncrossing his arms.