Memories //luke hemmings

Nightmares and Daydreams

A smile appears across his stubbly face as we kissed, after all this time he was mine and I was his again. My heart beating faster than ever before. After all the fights, all the pain I went through, but it was all worth it, for him.
Michael.

Then, I jolt awake.
I stare into the darkness, I don't see his perfect face and he's not beside me, oh yeah, another nightmare. I curl up in the bed of my one room apartment and cry. This sucks. I don't know what time it is, but I can't see from the salty tears running down my cheeks. I live alone so the only people who can hear me are my neibhors. But I can't scream anymore since I've lost my voice from screaming already. I quietly mumble to myself as I sob, he hasn't left my mind since everything happened and I've done almost everything to get him off my mind.
But I can't, I can't, I can't. I'd do anything to have him back but I know he thinks I'm worthless,
But I am.
I never deserved him and I never will.
I finally restore my sight as when the tears stop flowing, it's 2:45am. I haven't slept and I've barley eaten the past few weeks, I look like hell, I really really look like hell. I have nothing, nobody at all, my parents died when I was 13 and I stayed at an orphanage till I could move out, I'm 19 now. My mind wonders to when Michael and I first met, we were in highschool, I've never been the happiest but now I'm just a big ball of shit and sadness. I remember almost every detail of that day too. I was wearing sweat pants and a hoodie, heh I looked like hell then too. My hair had just been highlighted and cut shoulder length too. Michaela no I had never really talked, but he was one of the most attractive boys in the school, and I was just an outsider who sat and drew every class.
I feel more tears down my burning cheeks as my mind snaps to reality.
I can't do this.