"🌻Her Secret Diary, His Secret Admirer🌻"

15. "Dead Roses!"

15.“Dead Roses! ”

October 4, 2023

Sometimes life gets too messy or complicated that we ends up taking worse decisions of our life & turning ourselves into someone who are not really us or who were never us; and sometimes we gets too alone that we forget to feel that we are actually alone as we ends up living with past memories of people, only to kill our loneliness.

But being alone & feeling lonely are two different poles, completely unlike & there's well said, “unlike attracts”.

I was running on roads like a mad person as the cab broke down; couldn't bring my own car for some reasons & my fight was about to board. So I really needed to wrap this shit up, right. So here I'm standing admist the crowd under the roof of airport boarding to my flight, ofcourse running away from escapement, but to ofcourse Udaipur.

I love Udaipur, but can't neglect that I hate it at the same time, but then I remembered what My dear dandelion's Mrs. Saru said, “People don't live together because they forget, people live together because they forgive.” Let's try to give it a chance or let's end everything & start it from a new turn.

As I settled on my seat in plane after the board checking & looked out of the window, seeing all white clouds patches within blue sky or what dandelion calls in her diary, sorry writes in her diary, her Lavendric Sky. Great, right?

Lavendric Sky!

I still wonder why she calls it Lavendric? I mean it could be anything then why this? It sometimes feel weird, her philosophies that she expresses within her words: sometimes she becomes self lover, sometimes heart broken, sometimes lonely, sometimes abandoned, sometimes mad, sometimes done with everything & most of the times writer, admirer, who loves to admirer her muse & I wonder who really her muse could be, I mean is he more handsome than me?

I chucked & cleared my throat a little on my own thought. I mean she is really messing with my entire existence right now. The fight is going to be of 2 hrs. I'm wondering what could be the best way to distract myself from her, then my innerself replied, the best option is to drown myself into her as it willn't let her distract me anymore, right?

I smiled more, these day I'm just smiling, smiling & smiling to myself or you can say I senses her presence beside me or around me whenever I open to read her words. Like I can litteraly paint every single scene of her writing these things with what expression & feeling & everything.

I took her diary out of my bag & flipped to the first page,

“Curse still Boon”

15-03-22

Everyone said, “Everything will get on

track”
Even I know it will happen.
Don't know when, maybe soon.
But every passing second feels boon,
My every part knows it's a curse, still boon.

It's not the first time.
I already survived in earlier trial.
“You'll forget everything”, I know I'll.
But this moment, this string, the sun rise over the hill,
My longing for stillness; is alive still?

Warmness colliding against my bones.
Every molecule have it's group.
I'm wondering, how science can relate?
Why every letter, every word can make fate?
It's too early, mere a beginning; still too late.