Do You Even Care? / STYLE SOUTHPARK

☆Chapter 09 ☆

...Stan's POV...

(Extremely short chapter I am so sorry)

It's hard to ignore the guilty feeling thats knotted up in my stomach. Especially because there is nothing to distract me from it in my dark, stuffy room.

I should be at Cartman's house. I should be playing games with my friends. But I'm not. I'm in my room, ignoring how I feel.

My phone screen illuminates my face in a way that just feels sad. Or maybe the light isn't sad but the fact that its spotlighting how sad I am makes it feels that way.

Either way, I can't stop thinking about them. About Kyle. I miss him more than I'd care to admit. Though I miss him I'm also avoiding him. That's why I didn't go to the game night at Cartman's; I couldn't face my own best friend. Without him I feel so out of place. Usually my place is next to him but now I'm never sure where I belong. I want that feeling of knowing where I belong back.

With that in mind I go to my messages app. I click on Kenny.

Kenny

Hey

Hi
What's up

Is Kyle still angry at me???

Oh yea definitely
Like pissed

Shit.

I set my phone down. It only now starts to occur to me that maybe I need to apologize. I didn't go to his birthday. His best friend couldn't even show up to his birthday. And after I said I would be there too... maybe that is a little fucked up. Damn I'm dumb sometimes. I swallow hard as I sit up on the edge of my bed.

How do I apologize? Kyle is as stubborn as a mule, I'll have to apologize well. I don't know how yet but I'll find a way. But how do you apologize to somebody who won't even listen to you? I have no idea. And how do you make up for missing a once in a lifetime thing? You don't exactly turn 16 twice. Now I get why he was angry and now I'm angry at myself for being a fucking dumbass.

I sit up and wander down to the kitchen. I pour myself a glass of chocolate milk and sit on the couch. I scroll mindlessly on my phone trying to get it all off my mind. Trying to get my dad off my mind, though he seems to be ever present, and trying to get Kyle off my mind.

Suddenly at the top of my screen Clyde has texted me an invite to a party. Might as well go, considering I still have no way of apologizing to Stan, I really don't have anything to loose right now. So I tell Clyde I'll be there.