We don't walk in sync. His steps are more firm, more intentional, with purpose. Mine are hesitant, lacking rhythm badly, and with a sense of fear.
Yes, fear, because I fear what's about to take place. He takes the flight of stairs down, I follow suit. He turns to his right and towards the back sliding door, and I follow suit, eyeing the rest of the group hanging in the living room. Of course, they all watch the two of us head towards the back of the house, and excluding Qaileen, I can imagine the confusion each one of them must be feeling.
So we make it out to the back garden, right on the balcony. He doesn't go any further; after closing the door after me, he heads towards the wooden fence, leaning against it with arms folded over his chest and back as straight as can be.
The aura around him is very intimidating; I could just sneeze the wrong way, maybe even pass gas, and that would set him off completely. It's enough to shut my mouth, hold my breath as long as I could, and when I finally release it through my nostrils, he turns towards me.
The moon is as high as can be, almost full, but enough light comes from it — her, rather — to cast a shadow over his features because his hair hangs over his forehead. Never mind the fact that clouds are very much presence and make the atmosphere darker. His eyes are hard, not blinking, and his lips are in a firm line — well, as firm as they could be but he doesn't have thin lips.
Instantly, I lower my gaze, nibble on my bottom lip as I gulp.
Another moment of silent passes us. I could start it off, I could speak, but I refuse to. I think he knows this, I know he can tell my hesitation to even utter a word.
So he takes it upon himself to speak, by saying; "How long have you known?"
My heart is pounding, this much we both know, and the reality that actually, finally, he knows, sits heavily on my shoulders almost in a suffocating way.
It's all come down to this. Many ways, he could have found out, and this was never a single way I would have ever thought we'd face. Not by a long shot. If I ever planned on having this conversation with him, I'd have never guessed it would start off like this.
I shrug. Cat's out the bag now. "A... a while."
"How long is a while?"
Because of fear, because I feel like a coward, caught in an act that should have been revealed long ago, I find myself unable to answer. My lips don't even part, to attempt a word or so; my arms simply tighten around me.
"Gertrude—" the moment he takes a step closer, I take a step back. It's instant, it's filled with fear even despite knowing he wouldn't possibly hurt me. Even still, I take that step back that forces him to halt in his own steps. "Help me make sense of all of this."
"We can't have this conversation if you're not calm—"
"Calm? You expect me to be calm?" He scoffs, shaking his head as he turns around only for a moment, hands kneading in his hair as he chuckles. "I am as calm as I possibly can be, Gertrude, when really I should be anything but."
"I'm just... scared—"
"And you should be." Now he faces me, eyes as firm as before, and the second step closer doesn't go unnoticed. "There are no exceptions to the knowledge of my kind. Any human—"
"That knows, stands as a threat to your kind. I know."
There's this look on his eyes, I can't identify it. If I could, I'd say it's between the lines of confusion, clarity, frustration and curiosity. Even still, he nods, licking his lips.
