The Ratman

The Rat, The Dog, And The Meatball Too

            “What the hell are you trying to say?” A man says as the moonlight bathes his face in beautiful blue hues.

             “I already told you, someone hired a hitman to kill you!” says another man clothed head to toe in black clothing, blending in with the shadows that surround him.“All I know is that he’s coming for you. For some strange reason, I was the one who got a letter telling me to keep a close eye on you.”

             “What kind of hitman would give you that kind of notice? It's probably just some prank you idiot.” The first man chuckles to himself, sparking up a cigarette and popping it right into his mouth. Although, deep down he knew that he was in danger. “Besides who would even wanna kill me?”

              “Didn’t Marcie say she ‘make you pay’ after you divorced her.” the silence was deafening almost blood-chilling.

              “...Well...uh yeah but she’s also really dumb, she doesn't know how to even-” He exclaimed with desperation, somehow bringing himself a moment of brief peaceful clarity.

*BANG*

Amid his sentence, in a moment of sheer humiliation, a bullet shredded right through the center of his forehead. His body now cold, had fallen to the ground like a fat lady trying to get up the stairs.

“Straight JFK’d his ass!” Atop a rooftop far away, hid Eugene Cochran, the world's most efficient hitman. He could kill a man in Times Square and still go unnoticed. “Man, I gave him a notice, didn’t I?” he stood on the edge, basking in the glory of his futuristic sci-fi city. “Why was he such an easy target? People around here don’t know how to have fun.” he whipped out a small camera and zoomed in to get a picture of the man's face. “Unfortunate, he died ugly too.” He blurted out, cracking a frown.

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“I mean seriously look at this fat piece of shit. Just seeing him happy pisses me off!” Dr. Mathews proclaims loudly. A video portraying a jolly ginger man was displayed on a wall-wide monitor. “Can you believe this fat fuck made it into office? He’s like the Epstein of presidential candidates! I mean come on, I can't make this shit up! I can even smell his ass through the screen!” Eugene walks up to Dr. Matthews and some random guy with an afro conversing about the video pertaining to the newly elected president. With his typical amount of confidence, he states,

“Still schizo ranting about your boyfriend I see.” his failed attempt at playful banter ruffled Matthews to his very core. In his defense though, shit-talking is all he has done since he was elected.

“Schizo!? I have evidence to prove this guy isn't a good fit!”

“Woah I’ve struck a nerve there. Look I just wanted to see if you had new toys for me to play with. Also, who’s this beaner?” This left the Mexican baffled.

“What was that!?” he shouted, grabbing Eugene by the collar with the intention of harming him. There was a feeling of one-sided tenseness and even the Mexican could tell. “I’d like to hear it again, you-” John waved his hand with such elegance it caught the attention of the 2 with ease.

“Calm down, that's just how he is. He just wants to piss you off.” And just as instructed he let Eugene go and listened in. “To answer your question, yes I do.” Eugene walked over to him

“And about this guy?”

“Oh yeah, that's Josh. He’s more of an errand boy for me but I also thought he could help you out.” John's hand glid across the desk, exiting off of the video and onto a new tab.”