Rent Boy | Hyunlix

Rolling it through

The evenings went by with me painting aimlessly or working out. I was bulky and growing, but I had no motivation to live. I even stopped trying to talk; silence had become my refuge.

One evening, Lee Know came to visit me again.

"U good? U look hot, man," he said, as I smirked and pulled a cigarette from my pocket. I had switched to more military and street-style clothes; those suits disgusted me now.

"Here," he handed me a cup of alcohol, which I took.

"I wanted to tell you something, but try to be calm 'cause I'll regret opening my mouth. So, Felix returned to the public house. I think he had nowhere to go and..."

I placed my hand over his mouth, asking him to stop talking. I didn't want to hear more.

"Can you go with me to that ball tonight? I hate being there alone, and everyone wants to see the man who shot Black Man themselves. You're the hottest topic," Lee Know said.

I nodded.

"U sure?" he asked again.

I pushed him lightly to the side, threw the cigarette away, and stood up, heading to get my turtleneck, leather pants, and boots.

"Are u crazy? Motorbike?" Lee Know laughed as I hopped on it, giving him a middle finger before speeding away.

The loud engine roared as I navigated the high-speed roads, the wind and rain a temporary balm to my restless mind.

Arriving at the palace, I saw the public house's windows, where the prostitutes were visible. I removed my helmet, noticing the eyes peeking at me. Many of the boys and girls smiled as I took off my leather jacket, revealing a tight turtleneck sweater that accentuated my body's curves. My gaze fixed on the window I had longed to set on fire.

The curtain pulled back, and Felix's face appeared, frozen with surprise.

"U won, loser, vodka on me!" I called out, as Lee Know pushed me inside. I smirked as we entered the garden.

The party inside was royal, filled with excessive opulence and indulgence. I felt detached, the spectacle serving as a grotesque backdrop to my inner turmoil. I was getting tipsy, and the attention from the girls irritated me, so I escaped to the garden I once loved but now loathed.

I pulled out a cigarette, inhaling the nicotine as I stared at the night sky.

"I missed you!" Felix's voice came from behind, and his hands wrapped around my waist. His presence was a bittersweet comfort.

"I thought u died," he said, looking at me with tear-filled eyes. I closed my eyes, inhaling his familiar scent.

He clung to me, seeking solace as I pulled him close, hugging him tightly.

"Will u come for me?" Felix asked, looking up at me with hopeful eyes. I struggled to find words, exhausted from the chaos and disillusionment of our lives.

"Talk to me!" he urged as I looked down, unable to answer.

"Are u angry at me?" he asked. I threw the cigarette away, meeting his angelic face with a heavy heart.

"Okay, I will leave then," Felix said, turning towards the public house. I turned to head inside, not wanting to look back, but his voice stopped me. He ran up to me, hugging me tight again.

"I had nowhere to go, I don't know how to live, Hyunjin, please," he pleaded.

I sighed, brushing his hands away as I walked towards the door. I knew that looking back would make it impossible to leave.