Best Friends

10

Roseanne

After crying out everything in my heart, I felt awful, like I was dying. I made myself get up and go to bed, it was only 4:30 but I needed to curl up in my bed. I grabbed the pillow Lisa always used and buried my face into it, breathing in her smell trying to calm myself.

I don't know when I start to feel asleep but the next thing I know two strong arms wrapped around me and moved me over in the bed into a chest, a hand smoothed the hair from my face and someone kissed my cheek.

I looked up into two familiar green eyes and I felt like I was home, everything was ok. Lisa was here with me, nothing else mattered. "I'm sorry Roseanne," she said putting her forehead to mine and holding my cheek. I closed my eyes enjoying her closeness. "I'm an asshole, I make you cry and I'm so sorry.. I love you Roseanne." She said quietly. I couldn't speak so I did the only thing I wanted to do in the world other than hold her tight, I kissed her, she responded immediately kissing me back with so much passion that it took my breath away.

She pulled out of the kiss too soon and I whimpered, tears were starting to form in my eyes, she'd rejected me again. "I need to say something," she said stroking my face lightly. I closed my eyes not wanting to hear it, "This doesn't mean the same for me as it does for you." She said quietly. Jeez I know that! Does she think I don't know that? I want her with every bone in my body and she's just getting a quick thrill.

"I know that Lisa," I said quietly still leaving my eyes closed, "I know that this is something fun for you." I said kissing her again.

Now that we'd admitted it maybe we could still do this and be friends at the same time, like friends with benefits? I don't care, I just needed her. She pulled away looking at me intently slightly confused. "No Roseanne, it's not fun for me." She said, I gasped oh God I wasn't even fun? What the hell? Did I do something wrong? She said that I was good at it, she must have lied. My breathing sped up as I started to panic. "Roseanne! Roseanne that's not what I meant jeez, of course it's fun for me in that way, but what I meant was I don't want you to just be something fun, I love you, I want to be with you, but I'll be here for whatever you need. You need a friend I'll be your friend, you need someone to hold you I'll be that too, whatever you want, I'll do anything." She said quietly, rubbing my cheek tenderly.

I still couldn't breathe, my heart was beating so fast I thought it would kill me, she wanted me? Am I dreaming? I must still be sleeping and this is just the best dream I have ever had in my life, I didn't ever want to wake from this dream. I looked up at her hopefully, warmth spreading from her fingers though my cheek melting my heart.

"Lisa," I whispered, how do I respond to that? She's just told me she loves me that she'll do anything for me, what can I say to that?

"It's ok Roseanne, I know things are gonna be difficult from now on, now that you know how I feel, but I promise I won't stand in the way of you and GD, I'm sorry for what I said and for walking off like that. I was jealous and hurting, I wasn't going to meet Irene, I just said that. I was lashing out. I promise we can make this work, it'll hurt like hell but I can put my feelings for you aside and be your friend I promise, I just needed you to know." She said. Wow, that was the longest speech I had ever heard her make.

I smiled at her and she smiled back kissing my forehead and laying her head back with a contented sigh probably pleased that she had finally told me the truth and got it off of her chest. She thinks I don't want her? Is she crazy? Every girl I knew wanted to be with her, she is the most perfect girl in the world. I sat up quickly and looked down at her beautiful face.

"I love you too Lisa." I said, she nodded and smiled her beautiful smile.

"I know that Roseanne, but I just needed you to know, that I'm in love with you, I have been since the first time I saw you, you were so shy holding that damn capybara that was always escaping." She said with a smile. I laughed, I'd forgotten about that, Lisa and I were always running around trying to catch that damn capybara. I bent my head and kissed her gently.