BEFORE I LOVE YOU - Jenkook

19. fault can't be forgiven

"mother look the camellia flowers have bloomed!" the ten-year-old jungkook pointed before letting go of yu sooyi's hand. she had junghwa in her arms and so she watched as he skipped around picking up the flowers with his tiny chubby hands.

yu sooyi sat on the wooden chair that the maidservant had brought just now. though junghwa was in her arms, her eyes glistened at jungkook who ran around nonstop. his mischievous and sweet smile brightened up her heart.

the little jungkook skipped to her with a camellia flower in his hand, forgetting to watch his steps. when he fell on his stomach yu sooyi grounded on the uneven ground, but he got right up and picked up the flower before dashing to her.

"for you," he said with a feeling of pain in his stomach and knees. yu sooyi rubbed his cheeks with her hands and though he didn't cry, she saw a few tears come out of his eyes.

her heart sank at him because jungkook was her first child, her first everything, and her first love. nobody could take that title away from him. she loved junghwa too but it was a different type of beautiful love.

yu sooyi planted a kiss on the smiling teary jungkook forehead and he felt that he was safe no matter what. he wanted to show only his strong side to his mother because he didn't want to see her cry. he loved the way she cared for him when she noticed the hurt in his face but he'd rather not show the bad side to her.

"jungkook my baby!"  yu sooyi shot open her eyes to the bright single light shining into her blinded optic as she lay restlessly in the hospital bed with beeping monitors and iv fluid connected to her veins. it was all just flashing memories that came back to her. to remind her that jungkook was after all important to her.

the nurse held her arms down and asked her to stay but she went against their wishes and sat up with her head throbbing in pain. her eye bag swollen red and she had lost her voice. the distress of a mother overtook the heaviness of her body and she could only think of her son who she had wronged.

"what are you doing here, check on my son, not me!" she shouted in dread, her emotions flowing back to the beginning.

yu sooyi's worries soon turned into aggressive rages pushing the nurse next to her away before coming into contact with dae jung's guarded embrace, "i need you to calm down please" he begged of her wavering.

she grasps onto dae jung's sleeves and digged her nail into his skin. it hurts but the pain inside their heart was much more.

"it's all my fault... i shouldn't have blamed him for anything. it's all my fault! it's me, i'm the bad one! please just take my life instead!" she bleated as dae jung hugged her even tighter because she was attempting to harm herself.

"i should have protected you and both of our sons but instead i overlooked the things i should be cherishing, i'm sorry, i'm sorry for putting you through this," he said rubbing her back to calm her down.

"uncle—aunty, are you both alright?" eunha rushed into the room with the mingyu, jung jeon chul, and park haecha. they were all worried after hearing the news that quickly spread across the families.

"jungkook...he.. where is he right now?" yu sooyi reached out to eunha for solace as haecha followed. she squeezed her cold frail hands back to prepare her for the information.

"he's still in the emergency room, they're cleaning the wound around his head and he's losing a lot of blood more than before," eunha spoke slowly delivering the message from junhui. yu sooyi wailed a little louder to the news and went through a self-blaming cycle again.

mingyu patted the back of dae jung and armed jeon chul closer together. he gestures to them both not to lose hope just yet.

"i shouldn't have given him such news that caused him to go astray," dae jung foot fell backwards to sit back down on the guest couch while jeon chul followed.