A child's dream is the most unique and uncomplicated thought. It defines the very essence of truthfulness. It signifies the meaning of his or her heart's desire to become a person he or she wishes to be. This dream is a breath from God.
Looking back, I never wanted to be in school from Monday to Friday, having to wake up early and sleep late in the evening thinking of various ways to make the children learn. I never dreamt of wearing my school uniform, greeting the same faces every morning and bidding them goodbye at the end of the day. I never imagined myself in front of innocent, eager, and even lazy eyes wondering when shall I stop and declare a break. I never planned of having to be concerned of others' children's safety, their happiness, nor whether they succeed in life or not. I NEVER THOUGHT OF BECOMING A TEACHER.
I WANTED TO WRITE. I loved to observe people and what they do. I wondered what lies beneath the surface; make people see what is invisible to the eye. I had the desire to know more and make the unknown be known, and the hardly understandable be understood. I've seen myself doing what I love to do most... and become a WRITER.
History unraveled... circumstances unfurled... the will of God prevailed. I became a teacher. Now, I am living the life I never thought of living these years. Am I regretful? Am I sorry that I ended up being a teacher?
For the last fifteen years, I have also attended fifteen graduation rites. And in those exercises I have seen hope in many forms. A hope that they may have or may have not been at their best during their stay in this school or with my class, I have been a living witness of their struggles and triumphs of school life. A hope that someday we might cross paths and realize the words of wisdom -beyond the lessons- I shared to them. A hope that though they may not succeed much in life, they still remain as God's children.
Teachers share the same thoughts and feelings when the issue of providing education comes to mind. We cannot deliver everything that they need to know for them to be at par with the rest. We only are given the chance to give what we already have. That chance is what is at stake when we accept pupils in our classrooms. It is that chance that our pupils supply what we cannot give.
What is then more to a teacher besides the lessons, the teaching aids, the air-conditioned classrooms, the projects, the exams and quizzes, and the pride of being a person of intellect? As their parents in school, we have seen our pupils cry over some petty things and childish fights. We have pacified quarrels and misunderstandings. We have seen their eyes brighten whenever a new idea and a new discovery come up to mind. We have been told many apologies for misdemeanor and misbehaviors. We have even joined in their funny jokes and nonsense laughter. We have inspired them in the littlest of ways. WE have been their TEACHER. A good or a bad one? Nobody could tell. Only what or how they will become in the future will provide our measure.
AWARDS. CITATIONS. They will never equate the real value of a teacher nor will it compensate for the hardship and sacrifices we spend every single day. Some of us even think of our pupils before we sleep at night and after waking up in the wee hour of the day, more than we think of what to cook for breakfast, or what to buy for dinner. Exaggeration? It happens. Only a real teacher could attest that we spend more time in school than we spend quality time with our family. We sometimes forget we have a life of our own and it is this only life that we neglect - not resentful, but duty bound.
Perfection?... is way out of the question. We are not perfected by education, affiliation, or wealth. From the simplest act of going to school before the start of classes, fulfilling every given task or obligation, and up to trying to win every single contest and ending up losing them in the end - we do not give up. We stand and fight once more even when there is no assurance of victory the next time. There is always the risk of failing again, suffering the same defeat yet we choose to do same and pray to do better one misfortune after another.
Try to open the door of your classroom one very early morning... peace and quiet abound. The defeaning silence will embrace you. You ask yourself... AM I A TEACHER? The echo shall return... NO, YOU ARE NOT... there are only chairs and tables. Wait for the children to come... do not open the door just yet. Listen from inside ... Feel the barrier that separates the noise and the stillness...YOU! Open the door and let them come in... YOU ARE NOT LOOKED DOWN. YOU ARE NOT ABOVE THE REST. You are simply addressed as TEACHER before your first name like the others. Equally named, equally called, and equally referred to.
In life, we don't always get what we want nor become what we dreamed of. We make plans, from the simplest to the most impossible ones believing that there are ways to make it and against all odds we'll be IT. And in most cases whether we become another person or by God's will, remain, we try to make the most of what is at present.
It is absurdity to live in fantasies, to the unreal and unreachable. We are living at the present. The future shall wait. If it cannot, then it is God's plan.
I WILL BE A WRITER. But for now, I am... A TEACHER.
