PARADOX

thirteen

Vega

October 2037

Kennedy Winters

It had been four days since I last saw Damon, he had skipped shifter studies class again this week and hadn't turned up to work. I wanted to ask him what was going on, not necessarily out of concern but because I was nosy.

Since I had been threatened by the loyalist shifters not too long ago, I had been on edge whenever they weren't in class. What if the loyalists were causing more trouble that I didn't know about?

Even if I asked, I doubted that Damon would even tell me. Whilst we had gotten closer over the past couple of weeks, we were friendly but not to the extent where we start talking about the shifters. He would always see me as the judgemental little girl.

I did dislike the shifters but not because of their biology. I disliked them because they believed that they were able to claim humans without any consequences, and then blame me and my mother for reacting accordingly.

Sometimes I wonder what would have happened if June had not marked my father the moment, she met him. They must've had a relationship before my father met my mother to conceive Jace but... she let him go. June let him leave and hadn't felt the urge to mark him even whilst they were intimate. It was all so confusing.

Would my father have stayed for longer? Or would he have treated June as an affair keeping us as his true family? Perhaps it was that idea that forced her to mark him, to prevent any further embarrassment for her family.

Would he have wanted to come tonight? To celebrate my eighteenth? Jace had celebrated his birthday a few weeks back. A massive party was thrown in the pack and everyone from school went, even those who hated the shifters just as much as me a few months ago.

My father used to celebrate my birthdays. When I was seven, he showered me with gifts and we celebrated with all of our closest friends. It was in our old townhouse that we lived in; the same townhouse that was now occupied by a family that had a reliable father. Some nights I would stay up late and think about that house, if the markings on the side of the door to indicate how much I'd grown every month had been painted over. Every bit of happiness from my childhood wiped clean like it'd never happened.

Like I'd never happened.

I only saw my dad for one birthday after he left. It was my eleventh birthday and he turned up at our door first thing in the morning. My mum had still been asleep after working the night shift. In his hands was a box of chocolates and a brown stuffed bear. At first I'd been angry that he had gotten me a 'little kids' gift but after he urged me to be quiet, we sat on the doorstep for a couple of hours.

He told me all about his new family, he raved about them, he looked so happy. It was all he could talk about how June was pregnant and I would have a new brother or sister soon enough. He gave me all this hope that I would see him again, that I could be a part of this magical family that he described.

After he handed me the bear, he also slipped me a disposable flip-phone with his number in it saying that he'd try to call and if I ever called, he would always pick up. And he did. For the first few months at least, whenever my mum and I would argue I would call my dad and he would listen to my rants. Looking back, I should've noticed how his voice was always hushed, like he couldn't be caught talking to me.

Then after a while, he stopped phoning and it was just me who called. He still picked up for a while but months passed and I hadn't seen him in person so I asked him when I would see him again. He couldn't give me a straight answer.

I stopped calling. And he never reached out. I celebrated my twelfth birthday at the commander's house where I blew out my candles wishing to see my dad again. My wish never came true.