Dreams of the Past

Hurt Feelings and Apologies

Chapter Nine

Hurt Feelings and Apologies

Kakashi-kun had grumbled when she woke him, but as soon as he'd seen the angry tears she couldn't hide, he'd relented, sighing, 'Tch... fine.' Once she'd gotten comfortable beside him, he shimmied closer. 'What's wrong, Me-chan?'

'Don't worry about it, okay?'

He'd looked skeptical but let it go, surprising her by tucking himself close to her before going back to sleep.

That was probably hours ago. She couldn't sleep. She felt so stupid. Earlier that day she'd imagined she might be growing to care about Kakashi more than she should. He had seemed like he actually wanted to know how she was, and for just a second she had felt a little less lonely. The thing with the fruit guy was silly—even if she had come back in time alone, she would never date a civilian—but it had made her feel pretty and valued for more than just how many enemies she could kill. He had asked to hear about it.

And then his voice had gotten nasty and mean in a way it rarely did, and he had all but called her a stupid little girl. How dare she enjoy the attention of a flirty guy, like a child, like some useless civilian woman. She was a kunoichi, she should be above such things.

Then she was so upset she was crying just like the child he thought she was. Stupid.

She wished she could sleep. Kakashi-kun had fallen back asleep easily, holding her arm to his chest, soft puffs of breath tickling her fingers. This Kakashi wouldn't grow up to be such a jerk to women, she would personally see to that.

The floor creaked and she snapped her eyes closed just as the door slid open. It was Kakashi, she could feel his chakra wavering in the doorway. What was he doing? What did he want?

Maybe he wanted to apologize. Maybe he wanted to berate her. Deciding she wanted to know, she opened her eyes and looked up, but he had already turned away and was closing the door. Damn.

'You're a kunoichi, one of the strongest there is.'

Her chest constricted as she thought over his words again. It was a compliment wrapped in an insult and a cruel timbre. Coming from him, it was a high compliment indeed. But why couldn't she be both? A powerful kunoichi could still just be a girl that wanted to feel pretty, desirable.

She had such terrible taste in men.

Sasuke had never been anything but mean to her. Not once had he shown any interest or returned her favor. And now she was harboring the ridiculous beginnings of feelings for Kakashi, and he was just as bad. Worse, probably.

It was so stupid.

Maybe she should go back and ask the really freaking cute fruit guy for a date.

<KS>

The sun was finally high enough that he could justify getting out of bed. What little sleep he'd managed was shit. He'd had a nightmare, the one about Rin. It wasn't that surprising considering he'd actually seen her the day before. The intensity, the horror of it had been though—they hadn't been so bad in years. When he'd woken up, sweating and struggling to breathe with a scream in the back of his throat, he had immediately reached for Sakura. But she wasn't there. He was alone.

He hadn't gone back to sleep after that.

He didn't understand why she felt like she needed civilian men to find her attractive. He didn't understand why she'd gotten so upset when he'd reminded her how powerful she was. But he had decided sometime around three in the morning that he shouldn't have said what he had. If she hadn't been asleep when he had gone to the kid's room, he would have done it already. Maybe she would have forgiven him easily and come back to bed so he could sleep.