erik menendez // if you love me..don't let go

chapter four

1977

"Daddy, what happened?" 

"It's okay sweety, she's in a better place now. Okay?" Daddy wiped my free flowing tears that matched his.

"But..but Mommy." I weeped and weeped and weeped. "I want Mommy!" My sadness turned into anger. I was raging.

"Hush, Scarlett, hush." Daddy tried to console me, but it didn't work. I ran over to the hospital bed where Mommy laid. She looked so peaceful. Her eyes were closed and her skin was so white. Yet she still looked so beautiful, so why did she go?

"Mommy! Wake up!" I could feel my blood boiling. I was so confused, so lost, so upset. I started pounding my fists against Mommy's lifeless body. She didn't budge. "Why?" I whimpered.

"Okay, lets go." Daddy then picked me up from behind, forcing me to leave the room where Mommy was once full of love and full of life. I thrashed and kicked but it didn't make any difference on the grasp Daddy had on me. I watched with blurry vision as we got farther away from the room. People with uniforms now started to rush over to her. Her body was being covered. But her pretty face, how will I ever see her pretty face again?

1988

"I love you." I whispered as I pressed a kiss against my fingers and rested them on the gravestone. I sat there on top of the dirt and grass, staring at the words etched into the stone.

Elizabeth L. Mariani 1945 - 1977 'with love comes heartbreak'

With love comes heartbreak. That was something Mommy used to always tell me. Obviously, I never really got the true meaning of it, I was only so little. But I knew it was something I had to keep with me at all times. Like a warning.

I wish she was still here. Maybe she could tell me the deeper meaning behind it. Maybe I could start calling her Mom instead of Mommy like everyone else my age does. But I never got to that stage, and I don't think I ever will. 

Every time I went to sleep, I always imagined a scenario where Mommy was still here. She went shopping with me and after that we got food. Or I would be telling her about boys and we giggled and kicked our feet together. But those were just scenarios.

***

"Okay, today is our first lab. We're going to be assigning partners." Our chemistry teacher brought out her clipboard with all our names on it.

I looked around the room. Everyone was standing against the wall, waiting for their name to be called. Across the room, I locked eyes with Erik. He gave me a half smile, almost like a smirk. I returned it.

"Erik and Scarlett." What? "Over here, Erik and Scarlett." The teacher repeated, pointing to one of the lab desks.

I wanted to bury my face into my hands. Of course we would be seated together, our last names were right next to each other in attendance.

"Hey." He whispered once I got to our desk.

"Hi." I gave him a sweet smile.

***

"Ew, do we have to wear these?" I asked Erik. I was holding ugly safety goggles in my hands.

"Yes, Scarlett. Of course we do." He rolled his eyes and laughed a little, making me laugh.

I put them over my head. Dangit. They fell right off and rested on my neck. I tried again. They fell again.

"Uhm, Erik?" I turned my head to him.

"Hm?"

"Can you maybe, uhm, can you help tighten the goggles?" I stammered, feeling really awkward. "They're a bit loose."

"Yeah, just turn around." He said, completely calm compared to me.

I did as he said. Heat immediately crept up to me once I felt his hands lightly brush against my hair as he retied the string on the goggles. If I wasn't turned around, I bet I would be able to see his eyebrows furrowed and his mouth in a severe line. I then felt the final tie, and his hands slowly let go, practically running through my hair as they went back to his sides. A shiver went through my body.

"Lovely." I thanked him, turning back around to meet his burning gaze.

His mouth quirked up and he nodded his head in response.

During the lab, I felt as if there was always some sort of lingering tension between me and Erik. There were times where he would reach behind me to grab something that was on my side of the table. His hands would then lightly brush against my lower back as he pulled away. Or I would feel him watching me intently as I did something like pour chemicals. I could never meet his eyes though. As soon as I did, heat would creep up so fast like lightning. At times I thought I caught him smirking a bit, but maybe that was just me.

By the end of the lab, me and him were cracking jokes and laughing like there was nobody else in the room. Like it was just us. And it felt so good to finally be able to have that with someone. I mean, it was nothing special, but I was just glad I could laugh with someone who wasn't Dad or Annabelle. Both of them irritated me at times. Erik didn't.

Five minutes before the bell would ring, we started cleaning up the liquids on the table and putting away the supplies. 

"Later tonight, my friends are coming over to hang out at my pool." Erik shared, as he wiped down the tables with such precision. "Do you want to come?" It seemed as though he said that last question much quieter. Like he was scared. It made me smile to myself.

"Really?" It was so hard to keep my reaction in. I was so confused, so surprised. Was I happy, annoyed? Definitely not annoyed. "I mean, sure!" I exclaimed, way too overjoyed.

"Oh," Erik stood straight. "That's great." A big smile spread on his face. Not the one where he tried to hide it by biting his lip.  A real one. He flashed his nice pearly whites. I don't think he expected me to say yes.

"See you." I grinned up at him and walked out of the classroom. I could feel his burning stare on my back as I left.