erik menendez // if you love me..don't let go

chapter twenty

Scarlett's POV

When I walked into Erik's room the next night, I didn't see what I was expecting.

There, in the middle of the room, stood Jose. A towel was wrapped around his waist and he had clearly just taken a shower. Erik was no where to be seen.

Mortification flooded through me. "Oh." Was all I was able to get out.

"Haha, hey, Scarlett!" Compared to me, Jose seemed perfectly fine that I was seeing him almost butt naked in Erik's room.

"Uhm," I scrambled trying to find the right words. "Where's Erik?" Gosh, now he definitely would know something was going on between us. I just opened the door with an extra key.

Jose looked around the tiny room as if he would find Erik hiding somewhere. He looked at the closed bathroom door for a while before turning back to me.

"Don't know. I was just taking a shower in his room since Kitty was in mine," He said the word mine as if he owned that room. Were they not sharing the room? "I'll be on my way now."

As he side stepped me to get out, he looked me up and down and had the nerve to snarl. That's when I realized I was in my pajamas and my legs were completely bare and my tank top was a bit too tiny.

Once he left, all I could do was just gawk at nobody. Seeing his legs and shirtless body made me want to throw up. Something about his face threw me off. He had this look of "I just did some great things", but knowing Jose, those "things" probably weren't great.

All of a sudden, I heard shuffling coming from the closed bathroom. I walked up closer to it and put my ear against the door. Someone was definitely in there.

"Erik?" I didn't want it to be true, but I had to make sure. "Are you in there?"

I was met with silence.

One beat.

Two beats.

"Scarlett?"

I sucked in a breath.

"Erik, what are you doing in there?" My palms became sweaty. "Can I come in?"

Before I could walk in myself, the door opened, making me almost fall. Erik was there, with a towel also wrapped around his waist. It was hanging dangerously low, but I wasn't about to focus on that, because my mind just put two and two together.

"Oh my gosh, Erik." I felt my heart start to pound louder.

He looked absolutely terrified. And not the kind of terrified when you got jump scared while watching a scary movie. No, his face was laced with pure horror. He didn't want me witnessing whatever just happened.

"No, no, Scarlett." He rushed over to me to put his hand on my cheek, but I quickly backed up.

I slapped my hand on my mouth, choking on a sob that I didn't know was coming.

"What the fuck?" I whispered, swallowing down another cry.

"I swear it's not what it looks like." Erik's eyes were frantic, searching everywhere to find something he could work with.

"Well I don't fucking know what it looks like, Erik!" I yelled, feeling a range of different emotions. "But one thing for sure is that you and your father had just taken a shower together, and I don't know how to fucking feel about that!"

"Please, Scarlett, I can explain."

"No, no, don't do that." I backed up until I was at the door. I was ready to bolt. "There's no explaining, Erik."

His face was full of confusion and hurt, but I didn't care in that moment. My blood was hot, boiling. My head was pounding and my heart was beating way too fast, but it also felt like I couldn't breathe. My windpipes felt as if they were blocked, as if water was filling them up.

"I need to go." I panted, and then I ran out of the room before Erik could come any closer. I rushed back into my room, thankful to see that Dad wasn't there. I would hate to have to explain to him that I just saw Jose come out of the same shower at the same time as his son.

I pressed my back against the door and dropped until I was sitting. I sat there for a while, allowing my heart to slow down a bit more. But every time my mind showed me those images, my heart immediately started to race again.

I didn't know if I should've felt anger, sadness, or confusion. In actuality, I was feeling all of them. There was no pinpoint on one specific emotion I was feeling, my brain was just a pile of mumble jumble and I couldn't seem to figure it out.

My thoughts kept on running through the same thing, why were they in the shower together? I couldn't think of any valid reasons, at least not that my mind could come up with. Erik had said "it's not what it looks like", what does that even mean? If I wasn't even sure what it looked like, how could I come up with other possibilities? All i knew for sure was that they were in the shower, and in it together. That for sure was confirmed by Erik himself, he never denied it.

A knock was heard on the door, and I instantly straightened.

I wasn't hoping it was Dad, but after hearing Erik's voice on the other side, I wished it was him.

"Can we talk, Scarlett?"

He sounded so defeated. I hated to imagine what his face must've looked like. He didn't sound like he was crying, but maybe there were silent tears running down his soft cheeks. Maybe his forehead was rested against the door because he was exhausted. Or maybe he looked annoyed, because of course why would I act this way when I just witnessed what I witnessed?

I let there be silence for a bit, a small part of me thinking he might barge in and just hold me and tell me it's alright. But he didn't, so I had to say something.

"Go away." I didn't realize before, but my throat was so raw that my voice came out as raspy and quiet. I've been crying so hard for the past ten minutes, and I didn't even know why.

"Okay." Erik's soft voice spoke back to me. I expected to hear him walk away and hear the click of the key turning in his door, but I didn't hear anything. No footsteps, no key, no door closing.

Did he leave? I wanted to check so badly, but I couldn't face him. Every time I thought of him, I thought of Jose too. Him standing there with the towel barely covering him. A shudder ran through my body at the thought. Goosebumps covered me.  I was so cold. Erik wouldn't be cold. We would be cuddling right now if that not-so-little mishap happened.

For the rest of the night, I stayed there at the door, silently praying Erik would walk in. I didn't bother getting a blanket or a sweatshirt, so I barely slept. But it wasn't just the cold keeping me up, it was the train wreck in my mind.

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