erik menendez // if you love me..don't let go

chapter eleven

"I didn't expect New York to be like this." Erik stated, his hands in his pockets.

We were walking in Prospect Park, one of those big parks in Brooklyn where it was just paths and trees for miles. The streetlights buzzed as they lit the dark sky. The air felt still, yet cold. It was a nice breeze.

"What did you expect it to be like?" I asked. I've been wrapping my cardigan tighter around me for the past hour, but it hasn't really been doing anything.

"I don't know, I just expected something more city like." He shrugged. "I had no idea that something like this could exist here."

"Yeah, that's true. Imagine we lived here?" I put out. "We could have walks every morning and night here. I would finally have an excuse to workout." I laughed to myself, thinking about the future.

"We?" He questioned, now looking down at me with an arched brow.

I met his eyes. "I was just using a general term." I rolled my eyes, but a hint of a smile still appeared. "Don't think too full of yourself." I quickly added.

He bit on his lip, holding back his smile. I couldn't help but stare at those lips. They were so perfect. How could lips be so perfect?

With the quietness of the park, all you could hear was the sound of our shoes hitting the ground and the gravel being moved around. The big trees covered half of the sky, there big orange leaves swaying back and forth.

"I would love to go to college here."

"Huh?" I quickly turned to face him, confusion written all over my face.

"You wouldn't?" He asked, matching my confusion, but for a different reason.

"I mean," I thought to myself. "I wouldn't mind going here. But it's so far away, is it not? From your family and friends and everything."

He shrugged once again. "That's what I want."

My face now laced with worry. "Erik?" I asked just above a whisper.

"Yeah?" He now stopped in his tracks. I stopped with him, fully turning my body so we were facing each other.

"You don't want to be close to your family?" I tilted my head.

"Well uh," He stammered. His head faced the ground and he fidgeted with his fingers. "It would just be nice to get away. At least just for a bit."

"Oh," I rocked back and forth on my feet, feeling embarrassed and bad for asking this. "Okay." Even though I didn't really get it, I didn't want to keep pushing it.

We then continued on with our walk in silence. Once in a while, one of us would point out something like a cool tree or bird, but that was it. I think our conversation made Erik put up some sort of walls, and I didn't think I would be able to knock them down, but maybe I could climb them?

"Erik, look!" I pointed out a small bridge to the far left that looked out over a tiny pond. It was practically all filled with algae, but it was still very pretty. Maybe Erik could collect his thoughts here.

He didn't respond, he just started following me. I walked up towards the railing and rested my elbows on it, he did the same.

"It's so pretty." I gasped in awe. There were groups of pretty ducks in the water. I laughed when one of them went upside down. Across the pond, I could see an opening which had more paths and more street lamps that lit up the water. Although algae was covering half of the water, it still moved so gently and made pretty noises that blessed my ears.

"Yeah." Erik took a breath. "It is."

I looked over at him to find him already looking at me. I put on a small smile, trying to hide the blush that crept up to my neck and cheeks. It's like everytime we made eye contact, I had to look away otherwise I would just stare into his eyes for hours. Erik's eyes danced all around my face, stopping at certain points. His eyes reached my lips and my breath hitched, but then they continued to dance around until he met my eyes again.

He bit back a smile, yet it still showed, as he turned back around to face the water. I had a perfect angle of his ever so sharp jawline. It could cut through paper.

Erik mumbled something.

"Hm?" I couldn't hear him, I was lost in my own world.

"Earlier." He repeated. "I didn't mean to make it so awkward. I don't know why I had to say that." He pulled at the back of his neck.

"Oh, Erik." I hung my head low, feeling bad about giving him the impression that he did something wrong. "It wasn't your fault at all." I met his eyes. "I was the one who shouldn't have asked that, it was too personal."

I put out my hand to rub his arm, but he flinched before I could. "Oh, sorry." I quickly pulled back my hand and pretended to be wiping them on my legs. My bare, freezing legs.

"Don't be sorry." Is all he said. He then looked around before doing the least expected, he pulled me into a hug. Well, more like an embrace. His arms wrapped around my back and he pulled me against my chest. Immediately, I wrapped my arms around his neck.

We stood there for a while. His hands tangled through my hair and one of my hands running through his. And it was very soft. His chin rested on top of my head and mine stayed perfectly against his chest. I could feel his heart beat. At first, it was pounding like crazy, I was terrified that he was going to have a heart attack. It probably matched mine. But then it quickly started to slow down until it was at a normal, relaxed pace. Sometimes, when I would accidentally brush my fingers against his neck or gently rub his back, his heart rate would pick up a few beats, but then it would go back to normal.

"We should probably try to find our way back home now." I reminded, even though I didn't want to end this. His warm body heated up my freezing body, and I knew that when we let go, I would just be back to freezing.

"Mhm." He mumbled into my hair. "Hold on."

After another minute, he finally pulled back. Well I wouldn't say finally, but whatever. My body was cold, but it was a little warmer than before, now that I felt how it was to be so close to him. When I looked up to meet his eyes, they had a little twinkle in them. And they looked so longing. Longing for someone or something. It reminded me of this boy I ran into a pretty long time ago. How old was I? Seven?

It looked like they had the same eyes. That same twinkling and longing look.