Smoker - Choso Kamo

19. with you.

As the days passed, Choso's inner conflict grew, and he found himself drifting more and more into his own thoughts. The doubt he had tried to bury now surfaced with greater intensity, clouding his mind. He couldn't shake Yuki's words, and the realization of his actions weighed heavily on him.

Y/n, sensing something was off, clung to him more often, seeking his attention and affection. Every time she wrapped her arms around him or pressed herself close, Choso felt a mix of warmth and guilt. Her dependence on him wasn't the relief he had once craved, it was becoming suffocating, a constant reminder of the control he had exerted over her.

He hadn't wanted this. His original intention was to keep her safe, to make sure she needed him as much as he needed her. But now, seeing her so reliant on him, he couldn't escape the growing fear that he had taken things too far.

Y/n, oblivious to the turmoil in his mind, continued seeking his comfort. She wanted reassurance, affection, and his constant presence. The more distant he became, the more she sought him out, creating a cycle he hadn't intended to create.

One evening, as they sat together in silence, she reached for his hand, holding it tightly. "You've been distant," she said quietly, her voice soft but laced with concern. "Is everything okay? You can tell me, Choso."

He stared at their intertwined hands, his chest tightening. He wanted to tell her the truth, to explain that his possessiveness and manipulation had spiraled out of control, but the words wouldn't come. Instead, he nodded, forcing a weak smile. "Yeah... everything's fine."

But deep down, Choso knew the truth was much darker. He had trapped himself, and y/n along with him, in a web of his own making. And now, he didn't know how to undo it without losing her.

Choso's heart raced as he held her gaze, her bright eyes searching his for answers. He felt an urge to come clean, to confess the manipulative ways he had kept her close. But every time he opened his mouth, the weight of his choices silenced him. Instead, he squeezed her hand gently, his thumb brushing over her knuckles as if that would somehow reassure her.

"I'm just... stressed with school," he said finally, avoiding her penetrating gaze. "You know how it gets." It was a lie, and he hated himself for telling it.

Y/n seemed to accept this, her expression softening. "You can always talk to me, you know that, right? I'm here for you."

Her kindness made him feel worse. Choso wanted to protect her, to shield her from the darker parts of himself that had come to light, but in doing so, he felt he was pushing her further away. He wanted her to rely on him, yet he was losing sight of who he was and why he had been drawn to her in the first place.

As the days continued, Choso grew more restless. He noticed how y/n's laughter faded, how she seemed to drift into herself when he became lost in thought. It was as if she could sense the growing distance between them, and it hurt him to see her struggling. Each time she reached out for his affection, a pang of guilt would pierce through him, reminding him of the ways he had manipulated her feelings.

Meanwhile, y/n began to notice changes in her own heart. She felt torn between her affection for Choso and the realization that his need for control was suffocating her spirit. There were moments she craved his touch, his kisses, but there were also moments when she yearned for her independence, for the ability to stand on her own without feeling the weight of his expectations.

One evening, as they lounged on the couch together, she shifted her position, her legs draped over his lap. "Do you ever think about us?" she asked suddenly, her voice barely above a whisper. "About where this is going?"