DISCLAIMERS!
This story is about the character Steven Hyde NOT the actor who plays Steven.
I do not own the story line or any of the characters of 'That 70s show'. The only character I own is Clover Jennings/the Jennings family.
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Forman's basement
Everyone but Donna and Fez are in the basement sitting while waiting for Jackie to leave. "I'm waiting." Jackie said. "Forget it." Eric said rubbing his temples. "Jackie just go home, there's no need for this." I said to her. "Just say it and she'll go home." Steven said to Eric. "Fine." Eric said. "You're right Jackie the Fonz could beat up Bruce Lee." he said regretting it afterward. "Thank you." Jackie said patting Eric's knee.
"Now Michael call me tonight at 8:00." Jackie said. "But that's when 'Chico and the Man' is on." Kelso said. "I know. But I like it when you describe it to me." Jackie said. "Oh, do your Chico impersonation." she said to him. "Oh please don't." I begged. "I don't think the guys really want to hear my..." Kelso said. "Sure we would." Eric said. "Go ahead, Michael. By all means please." Steven said. "All right." Kelso said standing up. "Looking good!" he said doing the impersonation and Jackie squealed. "Jackie!" I said covering my ears then she ran upstairs and left.
"So Kelso quick question." Eric said opening the freezer. "Why can't you date someone a little less annoying?" he asked. "Like who?" Kelso asked. "What about Clover?" Steven said joking and Kelso looked at me with hope. "Forget it." I told him.
"What about Barbara Vansen?" Eric asked. "She's just as annoying as Jackie." Kelso said. "Yeah, but her boobs are huge." Steven said. "So?" Kelso said. "Do you find that annoying?" Steven asked showing them a nudie magazine. "You guys are gross" I said not looking away from my magazine.
"Pam Macy. Now she's got some knockers, baby." Kelso said. "Ew." i said. "True, but they're not bigger than Barbara's." Steven said. "Yeah, they are." Kelso said. "You're dreaming. It's like comparing Exodus and Deuteronomy, both of which have taught us very valuable lessons." Eric said and Red came into the basement. "Oh. Hi dad." Eric said. "Damn, dryer's broken. Ah, nuts. I need my vice grips." Red said then left.
"Clover has bigger knockers than both of em." Steven said. "Steven I am sitting right here, don't say that." I said. "But have you seen Pam in a tube top?" Kelso asked. "It's like you're looking at the Grand Tetons. In a tube top." he said. "Yeah, but just... look." he said turning Kelso's head to me. "Stop looking at me." I said.
"Look the issue isn't are Pam's big, right? The issue is are they bigger than Barbara's?" Steven said. "Because Barbara's are bigger than the walls of Jericho, which as we all know came tumbling down right?" Steven said as Kitty came down the stairs.
"Hello, Mrs. Forman." He said. "Hi. Eric, did your father come down here?" Kitty asked. "Yeah, he's fixing the dryer." Eric said. "Oh, dear." she said and nervously laughed. "You know, ever since the plant cut back his hours, he spends all his time fixing things. Things that don't need fixing. Things I need. Things I use. Things I love." she ranted. "I gotta go hide the crock pot." Kitty said then ran upstairs.
"Sounds like your dad's losing it." Steven said. "If he's like this now he's gonna be a total headcase if they shut down the plant. He's gonna be this pathetic guy with breasts the size of watermelons!" Kelso said as Red walked back into the basement. "Idiot." I said. "Is what Moses said to the Egyptians." Kelso said. "Kelso go home." Red said and he left.
