And Who Knew?

I Don't Want To Be That Guy

"MMM" All my senses were in overload as I bit into my cake. This was absolute bliss, if I do say so myself. I stabbed a piece with the spork and was half way to scooping it in my mouth when Takai bit the cake clean off my utensil.

"Heyyyy" I was in too good of a mood to really care. I just scooped another mouthful and bit into it.

~
"Room seven residents, please head to the main receptionist desk immediately." I was through half the cake when we got called. Takai got there within a matter of seconds due to her long legs, and I was stuck jogging beside her just to keep up with her normal walking pace. I catched a few breaths while we waited for someone to say the reason why we were called. The receptionist was the one who called us, but she was no where in sight. 

"Room twelve residents, please head to the main receptionist desk immediately."

"SCREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAACH" just like yesterday, the SCREECH was followed up with a low rumble.

"Fuckin' banshee" Arthur mumbled under his breath.

"You never told me what that thing is."

"Oh my God, why didn't you ask Kokurri San!?" Arthur barked at me. 

"Because she disappeared before I can ask a second question!" He paused to fix a bottle.

"Oh." Was his only reply.

"So are you going to tell me or not?" He sighed and rolled his eyes.

"It's called Futakuchi-onna. A demon woman with a mouth at the back of her head. If it goes too long without eating, it will screech until it gets fed something."

"That's it? That has nothing to do with a banshee."

"The hell it doesn't! That thing screams every waking hour!" He wiped a mess that spilled on the counter.

"It's always something. knocking  shit over, spilling bottles, breaking something, some annoying customer... God damn it, I can never catch a break." I don't know who pissed in his pants, but he needs to fuck off. Not even I have that much of a temper. I tapped Takai's upper hip, mostly because that's just about as high as my arm can comfortably reach without me having to reach up on purpose.

"Where's Kuchisake?" I looked around but didn't find her anywhere. And the receptionist was still no where to be found.

"Don't know." She said, then stared at the wall. I bounced up and down on my own my toes.

"Fuck this shit, I'm out" I stomped back to my dorm. I tapped on my phone for a bit, playing a game.

Takai came in soon after, putting the half eaten cake in my lap. she nudged it towards my stomach, as if prompting me to eat it.

"Later" I growled. We sat in silence except for the soft "Po"s.

"Creeeeaaaak" the sound of floorboards creaking pierced the silence, but neither of us moved. I peeked my head over at the middle of the floor.

"creee-e-e-ea-a-a-a-akkk" It was coming in the far corner. I got up off the bed and checked it out. It looked like the floorboard was being pushed open. 

What was holding it down?

I inspected until I found a tiny latch holding it shut. I flipped the latch open. The floorboard whacked me in the face before hitting the wall.

"Ow! Mother f-" I wiped my eyes. Kuchisake was sanding in a hole, trying to jump her way out.

"Well? Help me up, would you!?" I sighed and helped her up. 

"Asshole." She muttered. Takai's head snapped up, her eyes wide and bloodshot. Her image flickered until, within a spit second, she had Kuchisake by the throat.

"Stop it. He didn't have to save you." Her voice was low and distorted, and she looked terrifying. Her veins were popping out, and her mouth was open reveling large, disoriented teeth. Her nostrils flared and her grip made Kuchisake's neck turn a shade of purplish gray.

crack.

I didn't even see anything happen, but next thing I know, Kuchisake was thrown into the brick wall. It cracked and crumbled, making her sputter out blood. She slid to the ground and coughed a bit. She hissed and stomped out of the room.

"I . . . Don't think that was THAT necessary . . . But thanks." Takai gave me a small smile. I watched as she stalked out of the room in the same direction as Kuchisake. I feel bad for the bitch, but lets be honest here. whatever beating she's about to receive is probably deserved.

~

"BAHAHAHAHA yeah, she has a temper." Arthur slapped the table, laughing so hard tears came in his eyes. He wiped his eye and chugged a drink down. for being  a bartender, he sure drinks on the job.

"Yeah, Karma stings." I glugged a beer. Arthur was in a much better mood since I told him what Takai did. I was still feeling kind of unnerved. 

"So what's up with you and Hachishakusama?"

"Hm? What do you mean?"

"You know, the really big woman."

"Oh, Takai. What about her."

"She's nuts for you. she doesn't let anyone touch her, especially below the shoulders. But you touched her hip, right? She didn't even react to it."

"I don't think that's anything special. All I did is touch her."

"That's what I'm saying! A hitch hiker came in here and rubbed her leg. She clawed at him and ripped his torso clean off. The body disappeared, of course, but it was still a gory sight to see."

"The vanishing hitch hikers and officially being labeled as strange mysteries, considering I thought those people only appeared in cars."
"Eh, some of them are a memory. Others are ghosts cursed to only seldom teleport to somewhere that ain't a car. But yes. Definitely mysteries." Arthur stabbed his fork into his chicken cutlet. It was glazed with orange sauce and it looked yummy. I wonder if he takes orders. He shoveled his face with food. He chewed, swallowed, and continued.

"Now back to your old lady."

"Pardon?"

"Hachishaku-sama. You guys gotta be an item."

"For an old man, you sure love gossip."

"I am in my mid fifties, and you are in your mid thirties. We are not that different, asshole."

"Yeah, whatever you say. But we're not an item. She's just a friend."

"Yeah, try telling that to her. She let you touch her."

"Well it's not going to matter to me. I don't want to be that guy who takes advantage of that. Cool. She's cool with me. It doesn't have to be anything more than that."

"I guess so. Here, have another drink."