Love Across Boarders

Chapter twelve

I couldn't stop thinking about what Darren said.
Not that I wanted to. The last thing I needed was him taking up more space in my head. But his words kept replaying, over and over, like a stubborn itch I couldn't scratch.
"We're not that different."
What did he even mean by that? He didn't know me. Not really. So why did it bother me so much? Why did I keep letting him get under my skin, when I should've learned by now to brush him off like I did everyone else?
I sat at my desk, staring at the same page of my Econ textbook for the past half hour, trying to shake the irritation. My room was quiet-too quiet. But the silence didn't help. All I could hear was his voice in my head, challenging me, pushing buttons I didn't even know I had.
We weren't alike. We couldn't be.
Darren had everything. Privilege, money, connections. He didn't have to fight for his place here like I did. He didn't have to claw his way up from nothing, constantly proving to everyone-and maybe even to myself-that I belonged. And yet, somehow, he still made me feel like I was the one who didn't understand.
I slammed the textbook shut, the sound echoing through the room. I couldn't focus. Not with him lingering at the edges of my mind, like a shadow I couldn't shake.
A knock at my door pulled me out of my thoughts. It was Sarah, of course.
"Hey," she said, poking her head in. "You coming to the study group?"
I sighed, rubbing my temples. "Not tonight."
"You sure?" she asked, stepping into the room. "You've been pretty quiet since the mixer."
I looked away, not wanting to talk about it. "I've just been busy."
Sarah raised an eyebrow. "Busy thinking about Darren, maybe?"
I shot her a glare, but she just grinned.
"Come on, Busayo," she teased, sitting on the edge of my bed. "I saw the way you two were going at it. There's definitely something going on there."
"There's nothing going on," I said firmly, maybe too firmly. "We just... don't get along."
She shrugged. "Maybe. But you guys have this weird energy, like you're always trying to one-up each other."
I rolled my eyes, but deep down, I knew she wasn't completely wrong. There was something between us, something tense and electric that neither of us could ignore. But that didn't mean it was a good thing.
"I don't have time for this," I muttered, opening my textbook again. "I'm here to focus on school, not deal with Darren's ego."
Sarah just smiled knowingly. "Whatever you say."
Sarah didn't press me further, but her knowing smile lingered long after she left the room. I hated that she could see through me like that. Even worse, I hated that she wasn't entirely wrong. Darren had gotten under my skin, and no matter how much I tried to push him out, he kept finding ways to crawl back in.
I sighed and shoved my textbooks aside, knowing I wasn't going to get any work done tonight. Instead, I grabbed my phone and stared at it, debating whether to call home. Talking to my parents always helped when I felt like this like the walls were closing in and I didn't belong here. But then again, what was I supposed to say? That some guy at school had thrown me off balance? That after everything I'd been through, some entitled, arrogant boy was making me second-guess myself?
No. I couldn't admit that. Not even to myself.
I stood up and grabbed my coat, deciding a walk might clear my head. The campus was quiet at this time of night, and the cool air felt like a reset button. Maybe if I kept moving, I could outrun these thoughts. Maybe I could shake off the way Darren looked at me, like he saw something no one else did-something I wasn't even sure I wanted him to see.
As I walked, I found myself heading toward the library. It was my usual place to escape, a quiet corner where I could bury myself in books and forget about everything. I just needed to focus, to remind myself why I was here. I had a goal. I wasn't going to let anyone-especially not Darren-get in the way of that.
But as soon as I stepped inside, I saw him.
Of course. Because that was just my luck.
Darren was sitting at one of the tables near the back, his head bent over a notebook, scribbling something down. He didn't notice me at first, which was a small blessing. I thought about turning around and walking out before he saw me, but then, as if sensing my presence, he looked up. Our eyes met across the room, and just like every other time, there was that pull. That tension I hated but couldn't ignore.
I forced myself to walk past him, pretending like I didn't care. Like he wasn't even worth acknowledging. But just as I reached the nearest shelf, his voice cut through the silence.
"Busayo."
I stopped, closing my eyes for a second, cursing under my breath. Why couldn't he just leave me alone?
"What?" I turned to face him, my tone sharper than I intended.
He leaned back in his chair, studying me with that same infuriating look he always gave-like he was trying to figure me out, trying to crack some code.
"You're always here," he said, not even bothering with small talk.
"And you're always here to notice," I shot back.
His lips twitched, almost like he was about to smile, but he held it back. "Guess that makes us both creatures of habit."
I scoffed. "I come here to work, not talk."
"So do I," he said, his tone casual, but there was an edge to it. "But you make it hard to focus."
I stared at him, trying to figure out if he was messing with me or if he was actually being serious. Either way, I didn't like it. I didn't like how he always managed to throw me off balance with just a few words.
"Then maybe you should find somewhere else to sit," I said, turning to walk away again.
But before I could go, he said, "Why do you always do that?"
I stopped, my back still to him. "Do what?"
"Act like you've got something to prove. Like you're always on the defensive."
I whirled around, anger flaring up inside me. "You don't know me, Darren. Stop acting like you do."
His eyes darkened, and for a moment, I thought he was going to snap back at me. But instead, he just stared at me, his gaze steady and unreadable.
"Maybe I don't," he said quietly. "But you sure as hell don't know me either."