Love Across Boarders

Chapter seventeen

I woke up that Saturday morning to the sound of birds chirping outside my window. For once, I didn't have to rush to class or deal with the constant whirlwind of assignments and study groups. It was a rare day of peace, and I was determined to take advantage of it.
But despite the quiet, my mind kept wandering back to yesterday to Darren, to the confrontation outside the library. I could still hear his voice, feel the weight of his words: "Don't keep pretending like there's nothing here. Because there is."
I sighed, rolling over in bed and burying my face in the pillow. Why couldn't I just shake him off? Darren wasn't supposed to matter, but he was starting to. And that terrified me.
Trying to push the thoughts aside, I grabbed my phone from the bedside table and scrolled through my messages. A few from Sarah about some party tonight, but nothing too pressing. My thumb hovered over the call icon for a second before I decided I needed a dose of home. I hadn't spoken to my parents in a few days, and I missed their voices more than I realized.
I dialed the familiar number and waited, my stomach doing that little flip it always did whenever I called home. It didn't take long before my mother's voice filled the line.
"Busayo! Ah, my daughter! It's been so long since you called, we were starting to worry. How are you?"
The warmth in her voice made the tension in my shoulders ease a little. I smiled, even though she couldn't see me. "I'm fine, Mummy. Just been really busy with school, you know."
"Busy, busy," she said, clicking her tongue. "That's all you young people say these days. Have you been eating? Sleeping well?"
I laughed softly. "Yes, Mummy, I'm eating. I'm sleeping too. How's Daddy?"
She sighed, a familiar sound. "You know your father, always pretending to be young when he's not. He's fine, though. Out in the garden as usual."
The image of my father tending to his plants made me feel a sudden pang of homesickness. Even though life back home was hectic, noisy, and sometimes overwhelming, it was still home. The familiarity of it all felt like a safety net, especially when everything here in Canada felt so uncertain.
"How's school? Are you making friends?" My mother's voice broke into my thoughts, and I hesitated.
Making friends. That's what this was all supposed to be about, right? Integrating into a new environment, meeting people, and learning how to navigate this new world. But instead, I was spending most of my time avoiding Darren, dealing with Sarah's party invitations, and trying to keep my grades in check.
"It's okay," I said finally, keeping my voice light. "Just...different. But I'm managing."
"Managing?" My mother's tone shifted slightly, as if she could sense the hesitation I was trying to hide. "Busayo, you know it's okay to talk to us, right? If something is troubling you-"
"No, no, nothing like that," I cut in quickly, not ready to dive into the mess that was Darren and everything he stirred up in me. "It's just...school's challenging, but I'm learning a lot. I miss home, though."
There was a pause on the other end of the line, and I could almost hear her smile. "Home misses you too, my dear. But this is what you wanted, right? You worked so hard for this scholarship. I know it's not easy, but you are strong. And you'll be stronger for it."
Her words were meant to comfort me, but they also made me feel a little guilty. I hadn't even told her about Darren or how out of place I sometimes felt here. I wanted her to think I had it all together, that I was thriving, just like she expected me to.
"I know, Mummy. I'm trying," I said softly, my fingers fiddling with the edge of the blanket.
"You'll do more than try. You'll succeed," she said firmly, her tone brooking no argument. "And don't forget to pray. God will guide you, Busayo."
"Thank you, Mummy," I said, my heart warming at her words. "I'll call again soon, okay?"
"Please do. And don't wait too long next time. Your father and I miss hearing your voice."
I promised I wouldn't, and after a few more minutes of light conversation, we said our goodbyes. As I hung up the phone, I felt a strange mix of emotions-relief, homesickness, and something else I couldn't quite name.
Talking to my mother always had a way of grounding me, reminding me why I was here in the first place. But it also made me more aware of how far away I was from everything familiar. From the life I knew.
I sat up in bed, hugging my knees to my chest, and stared out the window. The campus was quiet today, but I knew it wouldn't stay that way for long. Sarah had mentioned something about a party tonight, and while I wasn't in the mood, part of me knew I couldn't keep isolating myself forever.
Still, there was the matter of Darren.
The way he looked at me yesterday, the intensity in his eyes...it was all too much. I didn't know what he wanted from me. And I didn't know why I cared so much about what he thought. It was frustrating-everything about him was frustrating.
I shook my head, trying to clear the thoughts. Today was supposed to be about relaxing, not overthinking. But that was easier said than done.
I stayed like that for a while, just sitting on my bed, lost in my thoughts. The sun streamed in through the window, warm and comforting, but my mind kept drifting back to yesterday. To Darren. To the way my pulse quickened whenever he was around, no matter how hard I tried to ignore it.
Before I could stop myself, I grabbed my phone again and opened the messages from Sarah.
'Are you coming to the party tonight? You need to stop hiding!' she'd texted, probably sensing that I'd try to back out again.
I sighed, staring at the message. I wasn't sure I had the energy to deal with a room full of people, especially not with everything on my mind. But maybe Sarah was right. Maybe I was hiding, letting the walls I'd built up keep me isolated from everyone, not just Darren.
Without thinking too much about it, I typed back: I'll think about it.
I tossed my phone aside and flopped back onto the bed, closing my eyes. I didn't know if I'd actually go to the party tonight, but at least for now, I had a moment of peace.
For now, I could focus on breathing. And just being.