Finding Her

Chapter Two

I'm making slow but steady progress in my hygiene journey. Some days, it's a struggle to get out of bed, while others, I push myself to tackle the tasks at hand. I've started to view hygiene as a job, where I put in the effort and reap the rewards - a clean and refreshed me! On days when motivation is scarce, I remind myself that every task is a necessity, and that thought helps me stay on track.

    There's a lot I'm discovering on this journey. One key insight is that when I work halfway and then stop to rest, I often struggle to regain the momentum to continue. However, I'm grateful for the opportunity to learn and unlearn.

   Although this task has presented its challenges, I've found that the most difficult hurdle is my inability to say no to my best friend, even when she's been hurtful.

There have been times when she's needed my company or assistance with something, requiring me to stay up late and neglect my routine. As a result, I'd put off my tasks for another time. However, I've decided to set boundaries and prioritize my needs. I'm unsure how to do this yet, but I'll find a way to assert myself and maintain healthy boundaries in our friendship.

     I've made a groundbreaking discovery about myself. After some introspection, I've compiled a list of habits and signs that hold me back, and they all fall into the people-pleasing category. Here are some of the key ones:

Point One- Over Committing to things
Point Two- Struggling to express my feelings or desires when asked
Point Three- ⁠Seeking excessive input from others before making decisions
Point Four- F⁠feeling resentful when others don't reciprocate my level of thoughtfulness
Point Five- ⁠Over Explaining Myself
Point Six- ⁠Rarely say "No"
Point Seven- ⁠Apologizing Excessivly
Point Eight- ⁠Feeling disrespected when my opinions are ignored
Point Nine- Believing others take advantage of my time and generosity
Point Ten- Prioritizing responding to text immediately, even when busy

Now that I've acknowledged my flaws, tackling them is still a puzzle I'm trying to solve. However, I've learned from my previous experience with trying to develop better hygiene habits - I won't rush the process. Instead, I'll take it one step at a time. I'll focus on one habit for a few days until I make progress. And I'm starting with what I'd like to think is the easiest, No. 7:  Apologizing excessively.

I'm on my way to see my best friend, Sophie, today. I've decided to put my new approach to the test during my visit.

As soon as the Bolt driver confirmed the payment, I hopped out of the cab. I glanced at my wristwatch again and realized I was running a few minutes behind schedule. I hoped Sophie was running late too. She had asked me to join her at the park, but I knew it wouldn't be just the two of us - as an influencer, she often used social gatherings as opportunities to create content. Beyond her online presence, Sophie was also a talented and popular nail technician. After purchasing a ticket, I made my way into the park, curious about what the afternoon held

I spotted Sophie from across the way, her back to me as she danced with someone I didn't immediately recognize. She was likely creating a TikTok video, given her enthusiastic rendition of the classic TikTok dance - she hit the signature "Woah" pose three times, a dead giveaway.

As I approached, I snuck up behind her and joined in, finishing the dance alongside her. She must have noticed my presence on her phone screen, because as soon as the music ended, she turned to face me with a not-so-pleased-expression.

"Nigerians!' She exclaimed in exasperation. "I told you to arrive early. I had to set up the entire carpet and food with Jane's help and we all know how sluggish she is." She gestured towards the girl who had been dancing with her earlier, now chatting with the others in the distance