I Think, Therefore I Am

[Interlude 2-I]

A/N: in which God learns he has another grandchild.
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(God POV)

Watching many things since the dawn of time isn't boring as most would've thought.

Applying human concepts to someone of my status despite formerly being one is like asking to stare at a a tiny part of a painting rather than the entirety of it.

I am more than just a human, I am what was, is, and will be — I am, what I am.

No more and no less, both yet neither, a contradiction that would annoy many.

Now why many would be wondering as to why I'm debating this? Because it's funny and amusing.

Plus I'm always a thinker and love to try and contemplate things I already know and conclude different views upon it.

"I guess I'm still me whether I'm God or not." I chuckled before summoning out a glass of wine.

My kids are doing their own business as with their grandchildren, so I'm here on my lonesome on a white tropical beach.

"Now what to do next?" I contemplate as I enjoyed the peace I indulge myself in, I deserve a break for my constant work even now while still taking a vacation.

I know everything and can do anything even things that contradict what I said and how contradict it back with a wave of my pinky finger.

Let's view through the aha! Now this'll outta be funny to go.

"Well... let's go have fun in this media, ah~ the nostalgia of remembering this." Without further delay I made my way.

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(Somewhere)

"Huh? Things hadn't gone bad I see." God mused as he witnessed the chaos around him.

"Fuck you bitch!" The first man cursing and fighting someone who he definitely understood as his granddaughter in this verse.

Everywhere around him angels, sinners, and even some hellborns likely aiding in the defense of Hazbin Hotel.

"Raa-guh!" He sent an uppercut at some sinner sending the tainted soul straight to hell's red sky.

*KA-BOOOMMMM*

"Oop." Which created a massive gaping crack in said skies and this act alone halted the battle around him.

Though no one could guess it was him as he was a bit distant from the main fight.

"What in Lucifer's balls was that?" Angel Dust asked confused as everyone stared at the gaping maw of dimensional instability above them.

"Hell I know! Anyone saw who did it?" A chorus of no and shrugging shoulders was received by Husk.

"Ooh! Shiny angel! Stab! Stab! Stab!" Nifty notices God and jumps to kill.

"Aww~ aren't you a tiny cute murder machine." But all she did was received was a pinch to the cheek.

"Let go! Let go! I'm gonna stab you!" Nifty snarled as she try to stab hid arm but the weapon was reduced to dust before it even impacted.

"Now... now... no need for violence I just came here to clear things up." God stared at the still ensuing fight above he inhaled for a moment.

"ADAM GET YOUR SORRY EXCUSE OF A FACE HERE OR HOPE ME HELP YOU I'M GONNA SHOVE A 10 INCH POLE UP YOUR ASS!!!" His voice thundered.

The whole of hell shook as if a level 10 earthquake struck them for a few seconds.

Though his declaration also resonated all the way up to heaven as seen by the stream of light which were the seraphims flying down with panicked faces.

Adam was the most affected as his attention quickly shifted and he was met face to face with a non-happy looking God.

Though it's hard to discern when God still hold a smile which made it much more terrifying.

"Wha-Big G-G! Oh shit!" He flew straight down as even the gathered exorcist angels stood attention as the presence of the Creator.

"My Lord!" Lute stood straight and was close to kneeling down when God raised his hand to stop them.

"No need, I need some explanation to be given pronto." God demanded with a calm and gentle tone.

Though that didn't assure everyone since God is impossible to comprehend let alone his current thoughts and emotions not that they dare to question.

"H-Hey big G how you doing? You look great today." Adam first say nervously as God stared unimpressed.

"Oh, nothing much the sun is shining, the birds are singing and someone's getting a pole up their ass if they don't give me a good explanation now." Adam did not squeak like scared teenage girl.

"It's just extermination day sir." Lute answered for her boss. "Uh-huh... extermination day right, the one day I God allow you to do every year which if I recall is still six months away... funny it feels like someone overruled me?" His eyes narrowed at Adam.

"F-Father! You are back q-quite early did something happened." Sera the leader of the Seraphims asked.

"Oh, no! My dear certainly nothing bad happened that warranted me to come here when I've noted that extermination day seemed to have been move early without my permission... care to explain." Now it's the seraphims who looked like dears caught in a headlight.

"Wait a minute! What going on?! Who are you and why is the whole of heaven here?!" There conversation was interrupted by a young girl with a pair of red dots on her cheek and blonde hair.

"C-Charlie stop that's God don't say such thing in front of him!" Vagi exclaims looking panicked and terrified.

"Oh, sorry for the disturbance my dear, may I know who you are?" God asked as all of heaven sweated and Adam looked like he was about to drop dead.

"Charlie... Charlie Morningstar." Charlie declared. "Morningstar you say... is Lucifer your dad?" God asked politely with a big smile that seemed to send the wrong vibe on everyone.

"Yes... why?" God eyes twitched. "I have granddaughter... a granddaughter..." He murmured before inhaling as everyone felt a growing pressure around the Almighty.

"Oh shit! Everyone for themselves take cover if you wanna live! God's fury is about to explode!" Adam shouted before diving down for cover did everyone else.

A loud and rumbling scream that shook the cosmos for so saith God as his wrath was made known once more.

"LLLLUUUUUCCCCCCIIIIIIIIFFFFFFFFFFEEEEEEERRRRRRRRRRR!!!"

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A/N: yes, this is Canon if some might ask, stay tuned for the continuation of this interlude in the future and the hilarity that will follow, so I hope you all enjoyed and have a nice day everyone.