If I die,I'll die happy.With your hand on my heart.(A jegulus fic)☀︎☆❤️💚

The mall

James pov:
He woke up once again arm around something warm.In the blurry thoughts of the morning he knew that all he wanted to do is keep this man safe.At all costs he would kill,steal and die for this man but worst or beast of all he would live for him.And maybe this man didn't even have a single fraction of his devotion but he would still do it all.All for this man that most definitely did not love him.

At some point he finally got up.The loss of contact was of course regrettable he almost winded.When James removed his hand from regulus's waist the smaller man whimpered,whimpered. GODDDDD.he was going to lose his mind.That sound was so delicious he had to swallow to regain control because his mind was conjuring not so friendly pictures.

Then regulus rolled over and his fingers reached out for him.God he looked too cute in the morning tussled hair soft mouth(not like his normal scowl) eye and posture relaxed.And much much younger,

Safe.A voice told him.he feels safe with you and you're ogling him,And imaging things that he would never do with you.You are a horrible person, horrible.

He tried his hardest to get those awful thoughts out of his head most times.But this time it felt as though the voices weren't wrong.Like they were saying the truth.Was he a horrible person for thinking that regulus was the most beautiful person to grace the earth.That regulus and everything that he did was to be worshipped, the very ground that he walked on should be kissed and adored.

Surely not,right.He just had an all consuming crush on his best friend's brother.He could just stuff it down but knowing himself he just wouldn't be able to.when it comes down to it ,he just can't hide his love,hide his sadness,anger,pain sure. His unability to keep one face on (his true one that is).But never his love,he guessed it was because it was the very thing that he was made of.If you broke his atoms down he was sure that you would find love there.So so so much of it,overwhelming,overflowing amounts of it.He was love

Then regulus started to mumble "James, come back I can't be here...not without you...please" fuckkkkkkk.how could he ever say no to regulus pleading.He would gladly do anything that the man told him.

"Sure,love" James said.He had no idea whatsoever why the fuck he called regulus love .Would regulus get uncomfortable or mad.No,no if regulus was mad or uncomfortable he just wouldn't be able to bare it.He thinks he would just combust.He would die.

" no,no,James no thinking ,ok" regulus said in a sleepy voice. James wasn't even sure that regulus was awake.But none the less he just stopped thinking about it all.And instead focused on the feeling of sleepy regulus getting comfortable once more in James's arms.

"I can't sleep here without you" regulus said.Which surprised James quite a bit, why.....was the question in his head.why me...why are you so beautiful.....why can't I have you....why,amI special.....

"and why is that" james asked. "Because you are the sun.you keep all the bad light away" and with that regulus started to snore.

The sun....am I really the sun....james didn't fully believe that he was the sun...but at least regulus believed it.Sirius believed it..his friends Believed it. I think that's enough, right?...

☀︎☀︎☀︎

Knock, knock came from the door "regulus,come down.Breakfast is ready" Sirius's voice rang through the room. "Too early" regulus slurred
"Reggie, it is literally 11h.there is no way you are tired right now" Sirius said exasperated.

Then he felt something shift behind him.then the next second he was assaulted by the memory of last night.The winey voice in which regulus ask...no begged James to sleep with him.Arggggh he was such an idiot.If james didn't really want to sleep in regulus bed how can James turn down a person so desperate.He probably felt so bad for regulus that he complied.Regulus literally said that he can't sleep without James.Stupid, stupid ,stupid.He wanted to scream,yell throw something out of the window.