BEYONCÉ G KNOWLES
"Did she leave?" I watched as my mom and Kelly frowned. My heart felt as if it were going to explode out of my chest. She couldn't have left she shouldn't have left me.
"Can you check please? I- I just need her here." I croaked feeling as my throat tighten. My mom nodded leaving the room in search of onika. Kelly sighed brushing her fingers through my hair.
"Beyoncé you need to stop that. If you cry you'll ruin your makeup." I nodded my head dabbing underneath my eye. I didn't want to cry but I felt emotional.
It had only been two days since the club and I couldn't focus anymore. I thought those feelings I once felt were gone. I swore I didn't see onika in that light but I guess I did. I loved her and I was just scared to admit it. I thought going the opposite direction would help but I just ended up back where I started.
Now I physically could not be without. Knowing she probably wasn't here broke my heart. Knowing she most likely would walk away forever wasn't something I could ever be okay with. I needed to fix this but I wasn't sure how. I was seconds away from being married. I couldn't just change my mind I set everything up I did it all.
The marriage the lifestyle we had I couldn't give it up off of what felt like a fantasy.
Right?
"Beyoncé it's time." My mom said coming back into the room. My eyebrows furrowed as I stood holding onto my dress.
"Is she here? I can't if she's not here." My mom sighed shaking her head. Walking across the room she fixed my hair fluffing my vail over my face.
"She's not here baby I'm sorry." My heart fell deep in my chest. I felt empty inside almost tears spilling from my eyes as my mom handed me off to my father. Everything fell into a blur as I walked down the aisle with him by my side.
I could see everyone pouting their hearts full with warmth watching as the bride shed tears due to getting married. A big step a larger journey ahead but they were wrong. I wasn't crying because I was getting married.
I was crying because I felt like I was making a mistake.
I felt like the person I should've been marrying was my best friend. The woman I knew was most likely on a flight back to Japan. My heart crumbled more as I attempted to wipe my tears. Reaching my soon to be husband he lifted my vail with a smile.
I could only cry more my eyes searching around the room for any sign. But there was none this ceremony was perfect and I couldn't help but to curse her out in my mind. She helped me plan this perfect day with her involved. Only to not show face taking herself out of the equation.
"Ms. Knowles." I snapped out of my mind. Thinking about onika felt like a distant memory almost. Nodding my head I let the words spill from my lips.
"I do." A grin spread across West's face he was happy. I was happy but I was heartbroken trying my hardest to mask it as the ceremony continued. It went faster than I could even think from the altar to cutting the cake. To dancing with our parents to only dancing with each other.
He held me close as we departed to our honeymoon suite. It was gorgeous in Mexico my laughter filling the halls as West walked us into the grand room. He held me tightly as we explored the room in awe.
