The Lexie Project

Season 19, Episode 10 (The One With Vaginas)

This is a really bad idea.

I know it's just my nerves talking, but as I watch Guy Anderson finish up his comedic news section, it hits me that in about five minutes I'm going to be talking about my sex life on live national television. Oh, yeah, and trying to make people forget the latest headlines:

SEX IN THE CITY: LEXIE BAKER'S TRAIL OF BROKEN HEARTS

DAVID FLYNN TO LEXIE BAKER: YOU KILLED OUR BABY

LEXIE BAKER: GIRL ON FIRE OR TROUBLED TEEN?

LUCKLESS IN LOVE: WHY LEXIE BAKER CAN'T COMMIT

"This is a really bad idea," Benny says.

Twin brain strikes again.

"You could have told me that before I got on a plane to New York," I snap.

I'm sitting in my dressing room backstage at the Guy Anderson show, my phone pressed to my ear. I wish I was where Benny is—a bonfire at Hermosa Beach—but instead I'm stuck in this stuffy dressing room with Ellen and Cass, who are both so busy trying to keep up with all the media attention on me that I might as well be alone.

The dressing room is a small space with a couch, chairs, and a vanity. A fancy bouquet, a bowl of malt balls, and bottles of Fiji water sit on top of the coffee table. Normally I'd be excited by fancy water and tulips, but all I want to do is throw up. 

"Well, at the time it seemed like a good idea to clear everything up," Benny's saying. "But I wasn't really thinking about how you have no filter. Like, none."

"Benny, this is NOT helping me."

"Okay, sorry. I'm just nervous," he says.

I get warm fuzzies then because I love how Bens always feels exactly what I'm feeling. It's beyond empathy or whatever, it's like this connection we have. I hurt, he hurts. Simple as that.

"Just...tell me what you guys are doing," I say. "Get my mind off this whole thing."

Ever since the news broke I've felt like I was in that bad, dark place I get in sometimes. I haven't felt like that since I was standing on the balcony at Jax's house, just before Seth found me. The sad kind of builds up and then it jumps out at me when I least expect it, like a dick teen boy dressed up in a Freddy Krueger mask at Halloween. Boo.

"Okay," Benny says, "uh...Matt's prepping the s'mores and Liam and Anna are—"

"Who's Anna?"

Is Anna pretty? I want to ask. Does he like her? Is this a date? How close are they sitting?

God, why do I care?

"Friend of Liam's. Uh, let's see: I'm talking to you, obviously. Noelle's trying to play guitar—"

I hear a muffled curse and Bens laughs.

"Oh, come on, you know it's bad," he says. I'm guessing he's talking to Noelle.

"Hello? I'm about to talk about my vag in front of the entire world," I say.

"Whoa, TMI," a voice says. Liam. Yes, I recognize his voice over the phone. This is a new development. Whatever.

"Um, I was talking to my brother?"

This comes out super bitchy, which suits me just fine because Anna.