The Bird and The Fish

TBTF, Part 8: Feelings Are Hard

(Casper pov)

Damnit. The fucking storm is ruining our plans. Arvid, Alouette, and I were supposed to go looking for Zahra after sundown. But the gods just had to make it storm just an our before that. And now we have to postpone our search and rescue another day. It's already been three days since her disappearance, and postponing our search is going to cause problems in the future.

"Look, I know you're upset, but cussing out something you can't control isn't going to make anything better," Arvid speaks up, leaning against the tent pillar as he watches me angrily pace and curse everything and everyone I can think of. "I agree with Arvid, Cas," Alouette adds, looking genuinely concerned about me. "You're going to make yourself sick if you keep this up."

"Cussing out my problems is going to make me feel better, thank you," I retort, trying to keep my obvious irritation under control. "I planned so extensively all for it to be washed down the drain by a fucking storm." "You planned for less than three days," Arvid corrects, rolling his eyes at my anger. "Plus, from what you've said about her, I'm sure she's fine."

"But what if she isn't?!" I snap, my irritation finally boiling over. "What if she's rotting in some ditch because we were too late to find her? For all we know, she could be something's next meal with nothing left but her bones!"

"Casper, please be rational," Alouette pleads, trying to calm me down. "We can't know for sure until we actually go looking. If you keep this mindset that she's already gone, it's going to eat away at you until we can do something."

My shoulders sag at her words, and I drop into one of the chairs that surround the table in the center of the tent. I let out a mix between a groan and a sigh, my face buried in my hands. "I'm sorry I snapped," I say quietly, my voice muffled by my hands. "I'm just tired. I haven't been getting much sleep lately."

"Just because you're sleep deprived doesn't mean you get to take it out on us, you know," Arvid huffs, clearly annoyed. "We get you're worried about her, but you know she wouldn't want you to run yourself into the ground because of that. I may not know her as well as you do, but from what I can tell, she cares a lot about you."

I let out another heavy sigh, knowing he's right. "You're not wrong," I reply, removing my hands from my face. "We've been friends ever since she got here four years ago. I can't let her down by withering to the point of no return." "There you go," Alouette says, placing a reassuring hand on my shoulder. "That's the mindset you need for something like this. I'm sure she'd be proud of you."

"Thanks," I reply, giving her a weak smile. "Great, now that we've figured all that out, we can all get some much needed sleep," Arvid speaks up, pushing himself off of the pillar. "I'll see you two tomorrow, yeah? I expect you both get some rest before then," he adds before walking out, leaving Alouette and I alone.

"Dickhead," I mutter under my breath, slightly annoyed by his gruff attitude. "Don't worry, he's just tired," Alouette says, patting my shoulder before taking a step back. "But you should get some rest, Casper. We can talk in the morning, okay?" "Okay," I say with a nod, just now realizing how tired I actually am. "I'll see you in the morning."

I watch Alouette walk out of the tent, staying behind for a few minutes to gather my thoughts. Once I finally get a hold on my rampant mind, I stand and walk out of the tent and directly into the pouring rain. I forgot it was raining, I think sheepishly, feeling a chill go down my spine.

I shake out my wings and quickly make my way to my sleeping quarters, hoping to get out of the rain as soon as possible. I let out a breath of relief once I'm inside, proceeding to shake out my wings once again. Holy hells, it's cold, I think, changing out of my wet clothes and into dry ones.

Once I finish that I plop down on my bed, staring up at the cloth ceiling* as I lie there. I move again after a few minutes, crawling underneath the blanket and laying my head on the plush pillow, quickly falling asleep.

*Creators note: the cloth ceilings of the tents are waterproof, as they are mad of a mixture of cotton and down feathers from ducks and Duck Avians.