Hunting For Our Dream

[• Silence x and x Scarlet •]

Our reunion was meant to be calm and heartfelt, but none of us could have predicted the true outcome. None of us except for Killua. When I saw him on the ground, in shambles, it tore at my bleeding heart. When I looked at his face, I saw myself. Crying in a state of despair.

I felt my eyes fade to scarlet as I heard him weep in the stall. I often forget that he's just a child, and to see him like that and realize once more, it broke me.

We were now on the flight to Whale Island, Gon's homeland. I was looking forward to meeting this Aunt Mito and Grandma he spoke of. He seemed to love them quite deeply. I remember Gon mentioning that his Aunt Mito is the only sort of mother he's ever known, and he wouldn't ever trade her for the real thing. Those words have never failed to paint a smile across my face to this day.

According to Gon, Killua has already met them. It took them a while longer to arrive there since they had taken a boat, instead. But now that we're traveling by air, we should arrive there much sooner than they previously had. I began to feel worry sprout along my spine at the thought of Killua's previous state, so I swiftly turned back at him to observe from over my seat to insure his safety. To my surprise, my gaze was met by a sleeping Killua laying across something my tired eyes could not quite make out, a blur. Although, he appeared quite peaceful. I felt glad that he could finally rest.

The reason why I thought of trauma being the cause for all of this above all else was because I was once in Killua's shoes. I too suffered great hardships that left me lost for words. Frozen, even. Knelt to the floor, shaking, inhaling sharply...All things I have once experienced before, and admittedly, still do.

I can't even begin to imagine what he's experienced. To have such tolerances for things so lethal, how much training did he have to go through? How much of it left him scarred and gravely injured? I began to feel sick to my stomach at the mere thought of it. How could someone do something like that to a child!? Heartless, cold-blooded, greedy, and selfish murderers, that's who.

I began to feel some sort of moral obligation to help Killua. It felt instinctual, like a parent defending their young. Even though I was barely old enough to even consider that sort of role, perhaps...I should step up and take it, anyway. Not to adopt him or anything, but to take more action and put additional effort into helping him.

And perhaps...I could get help, as well...?

No, Kurapika. You mustn't be selfish. Stop it. Stop it at once. Stop.

But...it...it hurts, I-

QUIT ACTING LIKE A CHILD! QUIT IT. STOP. STOP. STOP IT!!

I hadn't realized it, but I was biting my nails. I guess I had bitten down with excessive force because my fingers were bleeding.

"H-Hey, woah... Kurapika...?"

Leorio's tender voice sliced my trance in half. He gently took hold of my hand.

"You getting nervous? I mean, I get it, planes are kinda scary but...you should really be careful with biting down on your fingers this hard, I mean, you're bleeding!"

I smiled and tried to respond, but the words refused to come to me. I knew what to say and how to say it, but I simply couldn't.

Damnit, not now!

"Uhh, what's the look for?" Leorio questioned, directing his finger towards my discombobulated facial expression. I felt my eyes begin to burn.

SHIT.

I tightened my grip on the seat as I was about to fall off. I corrected my breathing.

In...and out....in....and out.