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Addie sat next to her bed, kneeling on the floor. Her hands intertwined in front of her. Today had been one of the longest, and hardest, days of her life. And the only thing she needed to do was pray about it. There was so much for her to ask for forgiveness about, things to inquire about. Everything was running through her brain at a rapid pace.
From everything she learned at the meeting, to her father's comments, to the gruesome pictures on the walls, and then finally to Charlie. She didn't know where to start, but she hoped God was listening and could understood the way her brain worked. There was no coherent and clear thoughts that she could form a sentence with.
Too much had happened in such little time that Addie didn't know what to do with herself.
She felt loose tears slip from under her eyes, her fingers forced themselves to hold each other tighter as she tried to get her mind to cooperate. The bones pressed against each other and pain shot up through her hands at the force. Addie didn't understand what was happening that caused such bad things to keep happening to her, especially all in one day.
God was punishing her for something she wasn't even aware of. She didn't know what she did. There was something, something was wrong with her. He had to have been putting these things in her path for a reason. It was all her fault, but she couldn't figure it out.
Addie called out to Him, pleading for forgiveness from something that wasn't real. She had put her whole life into her faith was now suffering the pain of needing the constant knowing and approval of something she could not even see. Her face streamed with tears that felt like fire. She screamed and begged until her throat was raw.
Soon, her screams were swallowed by sobs and then by silence. She laid her head against the siding of her bed, letting the cool sheets soak up the puddles in her eyes. Her fingers brushed the golden cross necklace that sat on her chest, it being the final resort she had to any kind of peace. She sat there for what felt like hours, pressing the side of her face against the bed. Letting her mind run rampant in whatever directions it took her.
