In His Shadow

Predator

Despite what might await me at school, I was so relieved to be getting out of this house and back to some semblance of normality. There was only one problem! No, it was not the morning coughing fit I had, that brought on the irritating suffocating wheeze; I had fixed that with steam from my ensuite shower. It was that after only a week my school uniform was too big...If it was a little bit loose then I would have made do. But it was so slack that I had zipped my skirt up and it had promptly slid all the way to the ground, where it was now pooled at my ankles. 

Fuck. My. Life!

My Ma could alter anything but if I took her my skirt she would have another thing to fret over. She was already a woman on the edge I could not distress her anymore or she would refuse to let me go to school. There was only one solution that I could think of and it was tremendously triggering in its own right...Stepping out of my skirt I walked over to my wardrobe and rustled through it until I found my skirt from first year. The one I had worn at the height of my eating disorder; forcing down the tide of viscous self-loathing that threatened to overwhelm me I zipped it up. A sigh of relief gusting out of me when it clung snugly to my hips.

"Maya!? Where is your skirt!" Ols asked so loudly, that every head in the kitchen turned my way like some sort of demented Mexican wave.

Younger siblings, who would have them!? I had been hoping nobody would notice just how short my skirt was. Understandably, I had grown since first year. But that did mean that only about an inch of skirt was visible at the bottom of my blazer, at a glance I looked like I was not wearing one at all.

"I grew Ols" I replied as nonchalantly as possible as  I flicked on the kettle for my morning brew. Tea was life force!

"You are going to end up in detention for rolling your waistband" Tadgh snickered into his coffee an amused smirk curling the corners of his lips.

"Maya that is obscene!" JJ had flamed bright red as he spotted just how many inches of leg my school uniform was showing.

"You are such a prude" I retorted slumping down in the seat next to Shan with my mug cradled between my palms.

I scowled at the breakfast Ma put down in front of me. I was far too triggered right now to consider doing anything other than consuming a liquid. Repulsed I shoved it away from me ensuring that I kept my eyes trained on the swirl of the granite worktop so that I could not see the concerned glances that would pass around the kitchen.

"Have you been sick again Maya, love? Maybe if it is best if you don't go back to school till next week"

Do not scream Maya, they mean well!

"I haven't been sick Ma, I'm grand, just not very hungry" I looked up as I spoke so she could see that I was being honest. I even pushed the boat out and offered her a smile.

She looked unconvinced by my statement but she replaced my breakfast with a banana. I knew the drill, eat something or you are not leaving this house. Eat something or I am going to cry to your father, ring your therapist and shout at the Academy. Resisting the urge to roll my eyes I ate the banana without argument knowing that it was my key to salvation.

I did not even give it out to her when she forced me to turn out my blazer pockets so she could check I had medication, my inhaler and my phone. I was rewarded by being in the back seat of JJ's car when he pulled off the drive. Thank you Jesus!

Exactly, as Tadgh had predicted I did not even make it to first lesson before I was dress-coded.

"Amaya Kavanagh! Unroll that skirt"

I did not stop, I did not even break stride I just carried on towards the common room to be reunited with my team. I needed some good lighthearted banter in my life.