World Changer

Expect Nothing, Appreciate Everything

Expectations suck. Just saying. And if you're planning on going on a mission trip, my biggest piece of advice is to expect nothing, but appreciate everything. When I was fourteen years old, my Mimi gave me a book called You Were Made to Make a Difference. This book radically changed the goals of my life, revealing to me the importance of making a difference, despite my age, in my family, school, community, and world. The "world" part always stuck with me. I wanted to change the world. This urge wasn't to become a massively famous humanitarian, like Oprah. Rather, my desire was to be an instrument for communicating with people all over the world how much Jesus loves them. Three years later, God led me to go to Eleuthera, an island in the Bahamas, for seven days.I had a few expectations:

Expectation #1: I would have an amazing time with people
that would become my best friends.

Expectation #2: I would see people become followers of Jesus.

Expectation #3: God would reveal to me if He wanted me to
become a missionary & I would have a supernatural encounter with God.

Pretty big expectations. And pretty big disappointments.

Reality #1: For the first three days on the trip,
I was bombarded with feelings of intense loneliness.

I had a few acquaintances on my team, but I didn't know anyone very well. Instead of dwelling on amazing verses like "I will never leave you or forsake you" (Deuteronomy 31:6) and "God has not given us a spirit of fear and timidity, but of power, love, and self-discipline" (2 Timothy 1:7), I mediated on the fact that I felt excluded. On June 29, I wrote in my journal, "I hate this so much. I just want to go home and be with people who actually care about me... Was I even supposed to do this? Was I really called to come here?" Because things didn't go as I expected, I started doubting my purpose for the trip, losing my joy, becoming ungrateful, and dwelling on lies. Thankfully, I ended up making a few friendships, and the Holy Spirit pointed me back to the truth. I love how "God works all things together for the good of those who love Him" (Romans 8:28), and I certainly saw that through this experience. God taught me two things through these feelings:
I hated feeling lonely and excluded, so I need to make an effort not to allow anyone I know to feel like I did.Satan uses loneliness as a tactic to divert my perspective, make me focus on myself, and steal my joy.Reality #2: I didn't witness anyone become a follower of Christ.

However, I did witness seeds being planted into tiny, precious hearts. Oh, my heart aches as I think about the sweet children of Palmetto Point and Savannah Sound! I had the rich blessing of being a Bible story teacher at Vacation Bible School. My spirit overflowed with joy as I shared the everlasting love of Jesus with such energetic and cute Bahamians. I really connected with a little girl named Velshire.Addison, one of my friends on our team, started off day 3 of VBS by sitting down with Velshire & asking her who her favorite princess was. With her sweet Bahamian accent, this seven year old replied, "Princess Jasmine!" Hearing a familiar Disney character's name, I instantly became engrossed in the conversation. Even if someone in the states starts talking about Disney, you can be sure that I will be poking myself into that conversation. #disneyfanatic I smiled and told Velshire, "My favorite princess is Rapunzel." Then Addison told Velshire, "Did you know that you are a princess, like Jasmine and Rapunzel, because you are a daughter of God?" Velshire glowed with excitement. "So I think it makes sense," Addison continued, "to call you Princess Velshire from now on. How's that sound?"A few minutes after this conversation, Princess Velshire and I became best buddies. We read the Bible together, took funny selfies on my phone, and ran around the church, her infectious laugh radiating through my heart and piercing my spirit. I don't know what it was, but this beautiful princess stole a piece of my heart. I miss her. I want to see her, hug her, and hear her read Zephaniah 3:17 again. Even though she didn't officially dedicate her life to Jesus, I know that Addison, the team, and I planted some seeds into Velshire: we assured her that she is loved by Christ and more royal than Jasmine.

Reality #3: I'm still clueless about my future, and my week in Eleuthera
was on the same spiritual level as my life in the states.

People always ask me those dreaded questions when they find out I'm a senior: "Where are you going to college? What do you want to major in? What career will you choose?" Well, for once and for all, I HAVE NO IDEA! I was really hoping (and expecting) God to give me a better clue as to what He wants me to do with my future. But He didn't. At first I was disappointed, but then I realized that God has amazing plans for me (Jeremiah 29:11) and is able to do immeasurably more than I could ever ask or imagine (Ephesians 3:20). I'm confident that God has my future planned out; therefore, I'm not worried about where I'll be in the next five years. Also, I wasn't on a "spiritual high" in Eleuthera. But I think that's because once you become head over heels in love with Jesus and make living for Him a daily sacrifice, it's not about getting to those highs every now and then. It's about getting to experience and communicate with our loving Creator every single day. I just freaking love Jesus, guys! Because loving Him genuinely allows me to love everyone else. What an amazing, fulfilling, and freeing way to live!
Lord, prepare me to be a sanctuaryPure and holy, tried and trueWith thanksgiving, I'll be a livingSanctuary for You