Me Or Volleyball

chapter 2- Shattered Illusions

The rhythmic thud of volleyballs against the polished gym floor feels different now, each impact a painful reminder of how quickly things can change. It's been three days since that moment when Hinata tackled me to the ground, when he declared me "his" in front of everyone. Three days of confusion, of hope raised and dashed, of trying to understand what it all meant.

I'm in my usual spot on the cold metal bench, but everything else feels off-kilter. Hinata is a blur of motion on the court, his movements as captivating as ever, but the warmth I used to feel watching him has been replaced by a churning mixture of longing and hurt.

"Nice kill!" Kageyama's praise rings out as Hinata lands another perfect spike. For a split second, Hinata's eyes meet mine, and I see a flash of... something. But before I can decipher it, he's turned away, high-fiving Tanaka with his usual exuberance.

"Oi, Hinata!" Nishinoya calls out, a mischievous glint in his eye. "Bet Y/N loved that spike, huh? You two seemed pretty cozy the other day!"

The gym falls silent, the air suddenly thick with tension. I feel my cheeks burn, remembering how it felt to be pinned beneath Hinata, his declaration of "Y/N is mine" still echoing in my ears. But the Hinata who turns to face Nishinoya now is a stranger to me.

He scoffs, rolling his eyes. "As if that matters. I'm here to play volleyball, not to impress anyone." His tone is dismissive, almost cruel in its casualness. "What happened the other day was... a mistake. I got carried away."

The words hit me like a physical blow. A mistake? I struggle to keep my expression neutral, even as I feel my heart cracking in my chest.

Suga steps forward, his brow furrowed in concern. "Hinata, that's a bit harsh, don't you think?"

But Hinata just shrugs, already turning back to the court. "Can we get back to practice now? I want to work on that new quick attack."

Practice resumes, but there's a new tension in the air. I catch several team members shooting worried glances my way, but I keep my eyes fixed on the court, refusing to let them see how much Hinata's words have hurt me.

As the session winds down, I stand to leave, my movements stiff from sitting for so long and from the effort of holding myself together.

"Leaving already, Y/N?" Daichi asks, his tone gentle. "You usually stay till the end."

I force a smile. "Yeah, I've got some homework to catch up on. Great practice, everyone!"

As I turn to go, I catch Hinata's eye. For a moment, his mask slips, and I see a possessive heat in his gaze that makes my breath catch. But then it's gone, replaced by cool indifference as he turns back to Kageyama.

I'm barely out of the gym when I hear quick footsteps behind me. A hand grabs my wrist, tugging me into the shadowy space between the gym and the equipment shed. My heart races, recognizing Hinata's touch even before I see his face.

"You were going to leave without saying goodbye?" he murmurs, his voice low and possessive in a way that sends shivers down my spine. "You know I don't like that, Y/N."

I swallow hard, anger and hurt warring with the thrill of his closeness. "I didn't think you'd care," I whisper back, unable to keep the bitterness from my voice. "You made it pretty clear in there that I don't matter to you. That I was a 'mistake'."

Hinata's eyes flash dangerously in the dim light. "You know that's not true," he growls, pushing me against the wall. "You know you're mine. I told everyone that, didn't I?"

"And then you took it back," I challenge, even as a part of me thrills at his possessiveness. "You can't have it both ways, Hinata. You can't claim me in private and dismiss me in public."

For a moment, genuine confusion crosses Hinata's face. "But... volleyball is everything," he says, as if it's the most obvious thing in the world. "You know how important it is to me. I can't let anything distract me from that, not even you."

I feel tears pricking at the corners of my eyes. "And what am I to you, Hinata? Just something to play with when there's no volleyball around? You said I was yours, but it feels like I'm always second to the game."

Guilt flashes across his features, quickly replaced by a stubborn set to his jaw. "That's not fair," he mutters. "You know I... care about you. But no one can know. It would change everything."

Before I can respond, he leans in and kisses me, hard and possessive. It's nothing like the sweet, hesitant kiss on the cheek from three days ago. This is all fire and claim and unspoken demands. I hate how much I love it, how easily it makes me forget the pain of his public rejection.

When we break apart, both breathing heavily, Hinata rests his forehead against mine. "You're mine, Y/N," he whispers fiercely. "Even if I can't show it out there. You understand, right? This has to be our secret."

I nod, even as a part of me screams that this isn't right, that I deserve more than stolen moments and public indifference. But then Hinata smiles, that bright, beautiful smile that first made me fall for him, and I feel my resolve weaken.

"I've gotta get back," he says, already pulling away. "Extra spiking practice with Kageyama. You'll wait for me after, yeah?"

"Of course," I hear myself say, even as my heart sinks. Always waiting, always second place.

Hinata grins, pressing one more quick, demanding kiss to my lips before darting away. I'm left alone in the shadows, my lips tingling and my mind whirling with the events of the past few days.

As I make my way home, the setting sun painting the sky in shades of orange that remind me painfully of Hinata's hair, I can't help but wonder: How long can I keep living in these shadows? How long before the thrill of being "his" is outweighed by the pain of being a secret, a second choice?

But even as these questions swirl in my mind, I know I'll be back tomorrow. I'll sit on that bench, I'll weather the public indifference, and I'll wait for those stolen moments where Hinata makes me feel like I'm the only thing in his world.

Because right now, those moments are all I have. And I'm not sure I'm strong enough to give them up, even if they're nothing like the dream I thought was coming true just three days ago.