Contrary Hearts

Chapter 19: Planet Lexi

Ava:

"That was the best date I've ever been on!" I squeal to Lexi the moment I step back into my room, still riding the high from the night. We're sprawled across my bed, the date playing over in my head like a movie I can't stop watching. "He took me shopping, then dinner- which was, like, whatever -and then he brought me to this cute little lookout. We just stayed there for, like, an hour, Lex. Wow. I've never been with someone like him before!"

Lexi listens, nodding slowly, her gaze soft but distant, almost like she's somewhere else. It's not the reaction I expected, and I frown, tilting my head as I study her. "You okay?" I ask gently, reaching over to place my hand on hers.

She lets out a quick laugh, nodding stiffly. "Of course," she says, her voice light but her smile seems forced. "It's just late, and you're, like, at a hundred right now. I love it, I promise, I'm just... processing, that's all."

I giggle, leaning my head on her shoulder, feeling the warmth of her skin through her shirt. "Sorry, sorry. We can talk more in the morning if you're tired," I offer, pulling back to catch her expression, but her eyes are already half-closed.

Lexi shrugs, flopping back against the pillows with a tired sigh. "Go for it, girl. I've never seen you this excited over a guy before, and you wouldn't shut up about Jake for months, so..." She trails off, her words laced with teasing. "Go ahead, babe."

True to form, I launch into a full recount of the night, gushing about every little detail- how special it felt, how close we were, how I'm already counting the minutes until our next date. My words come tumbling out, excitement bubbling over, and soon I'm leaning over her, propped up on one elbow, unable to sit still.

"Maybe one of these days, we can go on a double date!" I squeal, grabbing Lexi's hands and flailing them around in giddy excitement. "Oh my god, Lex, this is like every bestie's dream! Double date!"

Lexi chuckles, nodding slowly. "Yeah... that could be fun, actually," she murmurs, but there's a softness in her voice now, her eyes heavy with sleep.

I giggle, leaning down to kiss her forehead. "I'm gonna take a shower, but feel free to stay here. You look ready to pass out."

She mumbles something unintelligible, curling into a tight ball beneath the blankets as her breathing evens out, the exhaustion finally taking over. I watch her for a moment before I skip to the bathroom, still buzzing. I crank the shower to hot, the sound of water echoing in the quiet room as I wipe away my makeup, the night replaying itself in my mind over and over.

I feel like I'm floating- still buzzing from the date. Every little detail with Milo keeps replaying in my head, like the universe is trying to remind me how perfect it all was. The way he smiled, how his hand fit perfectly in mine, the way he made me laugh like it was the easiest thing in the world. It's almost unreal, like a dream I don't want to wake up from. I'm on cloud nine, and yet, underneath all this happiness, there's this tiny knot of fear I can't ignore.

It's always there, lurking in the back of my mind. The idea of getting too close, of being tied down... it freaks me out. I mean, I've never really had something serious, not like this. Just thinking about it makes my heart race, but not in the good way.

We haven't even scratched the surface of how messed up I really am. Milo's seen me break down once, but what happens when it starts happening more? Lexi's always been the one to pull me out of my spirals- what if Milo thinks it's too much? He's got his own shit to deal with. What if we're just an explosive mix waiting to happen? And what if he leaves, like everyone else always does?

I try to shake off the negative thoughts as I hop into the shower, letting the scorching water burn away the doubts. Despite knowing Milo doesn't want to have sex for a while, I still take an all over shower. You know, just in case he can't resist me any longer. I mean, who could blame him?