𝐖𝐇𝐀𝐓 𝐀𝐑𝐄 𝐖𝐄? // 𝐉𝐀𝐊𝐄𝐇𝐎𝐎𝐍

𝟎𝟎𝟗

As Jake slumped against the door, the familiar space of his dorm room felt foreign and unwelcoming. Shadows crept into the corners, amplifying the emptiness that had settled in his chest. He ran a hand through his hair, frustration surging as he thought about how everything had unraveled so quickly. One moment, he had been riding high on the waves of love and laughter with Sunghoon, and the next, he was drowning in an ocean of despair.

"Why?" he muttered to himself, his voice barely audible. "Why did it have to come to this?" Each word felt like a dagger, piercing the silence that surrounded him. He felt anger boiling within him, but more than that, it was a profound sense of loss that left him feeling hollow.

He kicked off his shoes, letting them fall haphazardly to the floor before dragging himself over to his bed. The familiar sight of his room-posters of his favorite bands, textbooks scattered across the desk-felt like a cruel reminder of everything he had shared with Sunghoon. Memories flooded back, each one sharper than the last. The late-night study sessions, the quiet moments spent cuddled under blankets while binge-watching their favorite shows, the countless inside jokes that had woven their lives together. Now, they felt like taunts, mocking him with what he could never have again.

Jake collapsed onto his bed, burying his face in the pillow, letting out a frustrated scream muffled by the fabric. The tears flowed freely now, a torrent of emotion he couldn't contain. "It's not fair!" he cried out, the rawness of his voice echoing back at him. "How could he just decide to walk away? After everything?"

The anger bubbled up inside him, mingling with the heartache. He didn't understand how Sunghoon could so easily brush aside their relationship, as if the love they had built together didn't matter. Hadn't he felt the connection too? Hadn't those moments meant anything to him?

Jake kicked the blankets off, unable to stay still, his mind racing with thoughts he couldn't quiet. The world outside his window was still alive with laughter and chatter, a reminder of the normalcy he had just lost. It felt cruel, the way life continued on, indifferent to the turmoil that was consuming him from the inside out.

He felt a sudden surge of frustration and grabbed his phone, scrolling through his contacts until he landed on Sunghoon's name. A rush of emotions flooded through him-longing, anger, confusion. What was he even hoping for? A text that said Sunghoon had changed his mind? A confession that everything had been a mistake?

He slammed the phone down on his bed, the sound echoing in the quiet room. "You can't just keep pretending it doesn't hurt," he said to himself, but deep down, he knew that was exactly what he was trying to do. He couldn't ignore the gnawing ache in his chest, the feeling of betrayal that settled heavily in his stomach.

What stung the most was the idea that Sunghoon had moved on so quickly, laughing with someone else, while Jake was left grappling with the remnants of their relationship. How could he just replace everything they had with someone new? Didn't their time together mean anything? Jake felt resentment bubble up, a dark shadow creeping in to twist the love he once held so dear.

He shot up from the bed, pacing the room like a caged animal, feeling the walls close in around him. He couldn't shake the feeling of abandonment. He had put everything into their relationship-his heart, his dreams, his future-and now it all felt like a cruel joke. The thought of Sunghoon with someone else made bile rise in his throat, and the jealousy churned in his gut like poison.

"I hate this," he whispered, the weight of despair pressing down on him. "I hate that I feel this way." He wanted to be angry, to lash out at Sunghoon for leaving him, but he also knew that a part of him would always love him. How could he reconcile those feelings?

With a frustrated cry, he collapsed back onto his bed, the weight of his emotions pressing down on him like a heavy blanket. The tears came again, hot and stinging as they soaked into his pillow. He thought of all the dreams they had shared, the future they had envisioned together, and it felt like a cruel trick.

He wanted to scream, to let the world know how much this hurt, but he felt utterly alone. He wished he could turn back time, to that golden autumn day when everything felt possible. Back when they had been laughing together, holding hands, dreaming of a future that felt bright and full of promise.

The loss hit him hard, a wave that left him gasping for breath. It was like mourning a part of himself-he didn't just lose Sunghoon; he lost the version of himself that had existed in that love. The carefree, happy Jake who had believed in forever was gone, replaced by a hollow shell that was desperately trying to figure out how to move forward.

"Maybe he's right," Jake murmured, staring blankly at the ceiling. "Maybe it is for the best." The thought felt like poison on his tongue, but deep down, he wondered if it was true. Maybe they were both trapped in something that wasn't meant to be. Still, the knowledge didn't ease the pain. It only amplified the void where hope used to reside.

As darkness fell outside, Jake wrapped himself in a cocoon of blankets, hoping to block out the world. But the weight of his heartache refused to be silenced. He longed for closure, for an explanation that made sense of the chaos swirling around him. More than anything, he craved the connection he had lost.

The hours dragged on, each tick of the clock amplifying his sense of isolation. His phone buzzed beside him, but he ignored it, knowing it was just a reminder of the friendships he had left behind.

Finally, after what felt like an eternity, he picked up the phone and opened the messages. It was Ni-ki, checking in on him. Jake hesitated, fingers hovering over the screen. He appreciated Ni-ki's concern, but he felt too broken to reach out for help.

With a heavy heart, he typed out a reply: I'm okay. Just need some time. But even as he sent the message, he knew it was a lie. The truth was that he felt anything but okay. He was lost in a sea of grief and anger, a storm that left him feeling adrift.

As the night wore on, he lay awake, staring at the ceiling, thoughts racing. Every flicker of hope was drowned by the realization that he had to face a future without Sunghoon by his side. The prospect was terrifying, and in that darkness, he felt the weight of his heartache settle deeper into his bones, leaving him feeling utterly alone in a world that no longer felt like home.