𝐖𝐇𝐀𝐓 𝐀𝐑𝐄 𝐖𝐄? // 𝐉𝐀𝐊𝐄𝐇𝐎𝐎𝐍

𝟎𝟎𝟐

Jake followed Heeseung toward the dining hall, their footsteps falling into an easy rhythm, but his mind was still miles away. The late afternoon sun dipped behind the trees, casting long shadows across the pavement, and despite the warmth in the air, Jake felt a coldness settling in his chest. The closer they got to the dining hall, the more the familiar ache returned, gnawing at him.

Heeseung, ever observant, glanced sideways at him. "You're still thinking about it, huh?"

Jake sighed, pushing open the door to the bustling cafeteria. "I don't know how not to, man. Things are just-complicated."

They grabbed trays, moving through the line in silence for a few minutes. Jake could hear snippets of conversation from the tables around them-students laughing, making plans, talking about their weekends-everything felt so normal, so easy for everyone else. But for him, everything seemed to be falling apart piece by piece.

Heeseung piled food onto his tray, giving Jake a pointed look. "Have you actually tried talking to him? Like, really talking?"

Jake tensed. He'd been avoiding that conversation for weeks, fearing that whatever was left between him and Sunghoon would crumble the moment they confronted it head-on. "I don't know if he'd even listen," Jake said, his voice quieter than he intended. "Every time we talk, it's like he's already made up his mind," Jake muttered, frustration bubbling beneath the surface. Heeseung didn't respond right away, and the silence hung between them as they grabbed seats near the window, the low chatter of the cafeteria muffled by Jake's thoughts.

Heeseung took a bite of his food, watching Jake carefully. "You ever think maybe he's waiting for you to say something real? Instead of dancing around it?"

Jake leaned back in his chair, staring blankly at his untouched plate. "I've tried. It's just... it feels like every time we get close to actually talking, we hit this wall. He's distant, and when I push, he shuts down completely. It's like there's something he's not telling me."

Heeseung sighed, setting his fork down. "Look, man, relationships aren't easy. You and Sunghoon-there's something still there, or else you wouldn't be this messed up about it. But if you don't get to the bottom of it, if you don't stop avoiding the hard stuff, you're gonna lose him before you even realize it."

Jake's grip on his fork tightened. He knew Heeseung was right. But every time he thought about having that conversation with Sunghoon, about laying everything bare, the fear of what might come next kept him from saying anything at all. What if Sunghoon confirmed what Jake was already afraid of-that he was falling out of love? That whatever spark they once had was gone?

Across the room, Jake's eyes caught sight of Sunghoon entering the cafeteria. His usual confident stride seemed slower, more hesitant, as he scanned the room. For a moment, their eyes met, and Jake felt the familiar pull in his chest, the yearning for things to go back to the way they were before everything got so tangled. Sunghoon hesitated, then broke the gaze, heading toward a table on the far side of the room without a word.

Jake's chest tightened. That silent exchange spoke volumes-more than any conversation they'd had in weeks. Sunghoon was slipping away, and Jake didn't know how to stop it.

"You gonna talk to him?" Heeseung asked, following Jake's gaze.

Jake exhaled, rubbing a hand over his face. "I don't even know where to start."

Heeseung leaned forward, his voice low. "Start by telling him the truth. Tell him what you just told me-that you're scared he's pulling away, and that you don't know why. Maybe he's waiting for you to make the first move."

Before Jake could respond, the doors swung open again, and in walked Ni-ki and Sunoo, laughing about something. They looked as inseparable as ever, Sunoo's hand brushing Ni-ki's arm as they moved through the crowd, their heads bent close as they whispered to each other.

Jake watched them for a moment, the ease of their relationship striking a chord in him. It wasn't that Sunoo and Ni-ki didn't have their own issues-they did-but the difference was, they faced them together. They communicated, something Jake and Sunghoon seemed to have forgotten how to do.

"You can't compare your relationship to theirs," Heeseung said, reading Jake's thoughts. "Sunghoon isn't Ni-ki, and you aren't Sunoo. You guys have your own stuff to deal with."

Jake nodded, though his heart wasn't in it. The gap between him and Sunghoon felt insurmountable. But maybe Heeseung was right-maybe the first step was admitting that he didn't have all the answers, and that he needed to stop pretending everything was fine.

Jake stood abruptly, the legs of his chair scraping against the floor. "I'll be right back."

Heeseung gave him an encouraging nod as Jake made his way across the cafeteria, weaving between tables until he reached Sunghoon. He stood there for a moment, his heart pounding, unsure of what to say. Sunghoon glanced up from his phone, his face impassive, but there was something in his eyes-a flicker of emotion Jake hadn't seen in a long time.

"Can we talk?" Jake asked, his voice barely above a whisper.

Sunghoon stared at him for a beat, then nodded, pushing his chair back. They stepped outside, the cool air biting against Jake's skin. The silence between them was thick, loaded with everything they'd been avoiding.

Jake swallowed hard, feeling his pulse quicken. "I don't know where to start. Things have been... off, and I know it's not just me. I feel like I'm losing you, Sunghoon, and I don't know why."

Sunghoon crossed his arms, his jaw tightening as he looked away. "Jake... I don't know if I can do this anymore."

The words hit like a punch to the gut, and Jake felt the world tilt beneath him. He opened his mouth to respond, but Sunghoon wasn't finished.

"I'm tired of pretending everything's okay when it's not," Sunghoon continued, his voice quiet but steady. "We've been drifting for a while now, and I don't think either of us knows how to fix it."

Jake's chest constricted. This was the conversation he'd been avoiding-the one that scared him the most. "I don't want to lose you," he said, his voice rough. "I know we've been off, but I still-"

"Still what?" Sunghoon interrupted, his eyes flashing with something Jake couldn't quite place. "Still care about me? Because if that's true, then why haven't you fought for us? You've been distant too, Jake. It's not just me."

Jake reeled, realizing Sunghoon was right. He had been pulling away too, out of fear, out of frustration. "I don't know how to fix this," he admitted, his voice barely audible.

Sunghoon exhaled sharply, running a hand through his hair. "Maybe we're both scared. But we can't keep pretending nothing's wrong. If we want this to work, we need to be honest with each other. No more hiding, no more avoiding."

Jake nodded, the weight of his own fear finally lifting, just a little. "I'm willing to try. If you are."

Sunghoon looked at him for a long moment, then nodded. "Let's start with that."