𝐔𝐧𝐝𝐞𝐫 𝐇𝐞𝐫 𝐒𝐤𝐢𝐧

𝑬𝒑𝒊𝒔𝒐𝒅𝒆 9: "𝒖𝒏𝒓𝒂𝒗𝒆𝒍𝒊𝒏𝒈 𝒕𝒊𝒆𝒔"

୨୧
France, Paris
ISP
B.G.C.
──── ୨୧ ────

I sit next to Shawn in the teacher's lounge, fiddling nervously with my rings. The sunlight streams through the window, casting a warm glow around us, but I feel cold inside. My thoughts race back to yesterday in the bathroom—the kiss, the way Onika’s lips felt against mine. Guilt gnaws at my insides, tightening like a noose. I cheated on Shawn. I didn’t just betray him; I betrayed everything I thought I knew about myself.

Before yesterday, I never saw Onika in that light. She was my student, someone I cared for almost like a daughter. I had always thought of her as bright, a little mischievous, but never like this. Now, I can’t escape the implications of her confession—that she’s felt this way for a long time. Did she really need help with math, or did she just want to be close to me? The thought sends a pang of confusion through my chest.

“Beyoncé, you good?” Shawn asks, his voice breaking me from my thoughts. He leans in closer, concern etched on his face.

I force a smile, but it feels brittle. “Yes, of course.” I stand up, eager to escape the weight of the moment. “I still have to grade papers.”

“Alright. Just remember to take it easy, okay?” He kisses my cheek, and I nod, feeling the warmth of his affection mixed with the cold guilt of my actions.

As I walk toward my classroom, my heart races. I step inside, and there she is—Onika, sitting at her desk, surrounded by her books and papers, a pencil in her hand. She looks up as I enter, her expression shifting from surprise to something I can’t quite decipher.

“Oh,” she says, her voice barely above a whisper. “You want to grade? It’s fine, I’ll leave.”

She starts gathering her things in a nervous haste, her fingers fumbling over the pages. I can’t let her go like this.

“Onika, wait!” I call out, stepping closer to her. “I—”

My words falter, the enormity of the situation crashing down on me. I take a deep breath, feeling the weight of what I need to say. “I’m really sorry about yesterday. I shouldn’t have let it happen. I let my feelings get the better of me, and I shouldn’t have put you in that position.”

Her eyes drop to the floor, and I can see the hurt and embarrassment etched across her face. “You don’t have to apologize,” she mumbles, avoiding my gaze. “It was my fault for—”

“No,” I interject, my heart aching for her. “It’s not your fault. I was the one who crossed the line. I never wanted to make you uncomfortable.”

Onika stands frozen, her hands clenching the edges of her books. “I just… I thought maybe you felt the same way,” she says, her voice barely audible.

Her words strike me like a lightning bolt. She thought I felt the same way? My heart races as I search for the right thing to say. “Onika, I care about you—”

“But you’re married,” she cuts in, her voice sharp, laced with hurt. “You can’t just say that and pretend everything is okay. You can’t take it back.”

I swallow hard, the weight of her words hitting me like a ton of bricks. She’s right. What happened yesterday can’t just be erased with an apology. “I know. I’m just trying to figure this all out, okay? I never meant to hurt you.”

Her gaze finally meets mine, and I can see the vulnerability in her eyes. She looks so young, so innocent, and yet she carries this heavy burden that I inadvertently placed on her shoulders. “I thought you understood me,” she says, her voice trembling. “But now, I just feel embarrassed for saying anything.”