𝐔𝐧𝐝𝐞𝐫 𝐇𝐞𝐫 𝐒𝐤𝐢𝐧

𝑬𝒑𝒊𝒔𝒐𝒅𝒆 20: "𝒔𝒉𝒂𝒕𝒕𝒆𝒓𝒆𝒅 𝒔𝒊𝒍𝒆𝒏𝒄𝒆"

୨୧
France, Paris
Carter home
B.G.C.
──── ୨୧ ────

The night was too quiet for the storm brewing in our bedroom. I lay in bed, staring at the ceiling, my heart racing as I heard Shawn’s frustrated sighs next to me. The darkness felt heavy, thick with tension, and I could feel the heat radiating off him as he fumed in silence.

“Beyoncé,” he finally said, his voice low but edged with irritation. “Can we talk about this? You can’t just ignore me.”

I turned my head, meeting his gaze. “I’m not ignoring you, Shawn. I just don’t want to lay next to you right now.”

He scoffed, the sound echoing in the stillness. “So what, you just plan to sleep on the couch? That’s ridiculous.”

“Ridiculous?” I shot back, sitting up and propping myself on one elbow. “What’s ridiculous is how you think you can just touch me whenever you feel like it. I’m tired of it.”

The air between us crackled with unspoken words, and I could see the muscles in his jaw tighten. “You think I’m the only one pushing? You’re the one who’s always pulling away. What am I supposed to do, just sit back and take it?”

I shook my head, frustrated. “You don’t get it. I’m not pulling away because I don’t want you here. I’m pulling away because I need space, and you don’t respect that!”

Shawn moved closer, his voice rising as he pointed a finger at me. “You think this is about space? It’s about you shutting me out, Beyoncé! I’m here, trying to talk to you, and you act like I’m some kind of stranger!”

The heat in my chest flared into something sharper, something I struggled to contain. “You want to talk? Fine! Let’s talk about how you can’t seem to understand that I need to breathe sometimes. This isn’t just about you!”

He leaned back, his expression a mix of anger and disbelief. “You think you’re the only one who’s dealing with something? I’m trying to be here for you, but you keep pushing me away like I don’t matter!”

“Stop making this about you!” I yelled, my voice rising despite my efforts to keep it down. I could feel my heart pounding, a mix of rage and hurt coursing through me. “You don’t even realize how much pressure you put on me! I can’t just be your wife, Shawn. I’m a person too, with my own needs, my own feelings!”

He ran a hand through his dreads, his frustration palpable. “So what do you want me to do? Just accept that you don’t want to be near me? That you’d rather sleep on the couch than in the bed with your husband?”

“That’s not it!” I shot back, rising from the bed, my heart racing with anger. “I’m tired of this! I’m tired of feeling suffocated! If you think I’m going to just lay here and pretend everything is okay when it’s not, you’re wrong!”

He stood up too, matching my intensity. “So where are you going? You think running away will solve anything?”

“I’m going to sleep next to Blue,” I snapped, moving past him toward the door. “At least there, I’ll feel safe.”

“Safe?” he barked. “You think sleeping next to our daughter will change anything? You’re avoiding me, Beyoncé, and you know it!”

I turned to face him, my heart pounding with a mix of anger and hurt. “I’m not avoiding you. I’m trying to protect myself from feeling more hurt than I already am!”

Shawn stepped closer, his frustration boiling over. “Protect yourself? From what, exactly? From me? I’m your husband!”

I narrowed my eyes, refusing to let him see how deeply his words cut. “You don’t get it. This isn’t just about being a wife or a mother. It’s about being a person, and right now, I don’t want to be around you!”