Break Me

19

Ethan's text buzzed on my phone, breaking through the fog of  sadness that had settled over me. "Hey, Ellie! I'm throwing a party this weekend. You should come!" His words felt like a lifeline, pulling me momentarily out of my spiral.
As the weekend approached, I felt a mix of excitement and anxiety about Ethan's invitation. It had been a few weeks since our hiking trip, and our friendship had grown even stronger. Ethan was fun, supportive, and someone I genuinely enjoyed being around. Yet, the thought of stepping into a social setting where alcohol and college chaos reigned made my stomach flutter.
"Are you sure you want to go?" Amy asked me one afternoon as we lounged in our tiny apartment, the scent of takeout lingering in the air.
I appreciated Amy's concern, especially given everything I had been through with Trevor. But something about Ethan made me feel safe, like I could explore new experiences without losing myself. "I think it'll be okay," I replied, a small smile playing on my lips. "Ethan will be there, and I trust him."
"Just make sure to stick together, okay?
"I promise," I said, feeling reassured by her words.
The night of the party arrived. I dressed carefully, choosing a soft sweater and my favorite jeans. I wanted to feel comfortable, yet I also wanted to look good. I had done my hair and even added a little makeup—a rare treat for a casual evening.
The party was being held at a house just off-campus, a place known for its energetic vibe and lively atmosphere. As we walked up the path, I could hear the muffled sound of music, laughter, and chatter. The atmosphere felt electric, and my excitement began to outweigh my nerves.
Once inside, I was immediately struck by the sheer number of people crammed into the living room. Bodies swayed to the music, drinks in hand, and the air was thick with laughter and the faint smell of sweat. I felt a momentary wave of uncertainty, but Ethan took my hand, guiding me deeper into the crowd.
"Let's grab a drink!" he suggested, his enthusiasm infectious.
I followed him to the kitchen, where a table was lined with an array of drinks. I opted for a light beer, wanting to keep it simple. As we chatted and laughed, I felt myself relaxing, the music and atmosphere sweeping me up into the energy of the party.
"Let's dance!" Ethan said, pulling me towards the living room, and I couldn't help but laugh as he spun me around, his carefree spirit infectious.
As the night progressed, I lost track of time. I remember chatting with Ethan, laughing at his jokes, and moving to the beat. At some point, someone handed me a shot, and in the spirit of the night, I took it without thinking twice.
Before I knew it, I was feeling dizzy and lightheaded. My laughter grew louder, my movements more animated, and I found myself leaning against Ethan, who was laughing and swaying with me. We lost ourselves in the music, and I couldn't remember a time when I had felt this free.
But as the night wore on, the memories began to blur. I remembered bits and pieces—dancing, laughing, and leaning closer to Ethan. But as the clock ticked by, the clarity of the night slipped through my fingers like sand.
"I've wanted you for so long, Ellie," he whispered, his breath hot on my ear. "But I didn't want to ruin our friendship."
"Our friendship can handle it," I said, leaning in and kissing him softly on the lips.
As our kiss deepened, I felt his hand on my thigh, slowly moving upwards. I moaned into his mouth as his fingers reached my wet pussy. He gently rubbed my clit, and I could feel my juices flowing. I was so turned on, and I wanted him inside me more than anything.
I pulled away from the kiss and looked into his eyes. "I want you," I said, my voice full of desire. "I want you now."
He didn't need any more encouragement. He stood up, taking me with him, and carried me into the bedroom. He gently laid me down on the bed and started to undress me slowly, kissing and caressing every inch of skin he exposed. I could feel his hard dick pressing against my leg as he removed my shirt and bra, revealing my perky breasts. He took one nipple into his mouth and sucked gently, swirling his tongue around it while pinching the other between his fingers. I arched my back, moaning with pleasure.
"You like that?" he asked, looking up at me with a sexy grin.
"Yes," I replied, my breath quickening.
He moved back and forth between my nipples, licking, sucking, and nibbling while I squirmed with pleasure. I reached down and undid his belt, unzipping his pants and releasing his cock. It sprang towards me, and I couldn't resist wrapping my hand around it and stroking slowly.
"Your turn," I said, pushing him onto his back and climbing on top of him.
I slowly lowered myself onto his throbbing cock, moaning as it filled me up. I started to ride him slowly, grinding my hips in circles as he filled me with pleasure. I leaned forward, my tits in his face, and he sucked my nipples while I rode him harder and faster.
"Fuck, you feel so good, Ellie," he groaned, his hands gripping my ass cheeks. "I've wanted to be inside you for so long."
Hearing him say that only made me want him more. I rode him harder, my pussy squeezing his cock as I neared my orgasm.
"Oh, God," I cried out.
As my pussy clenched around him, I felt him swell inside me. He exploded with his own orgasm, filling me with his hot cum. I collapsed onto his chest, breathing heavily, feeling his heart racing against mine.
"That was incredible," he whispered, kissing my neck.
We lay there for a moment, catching our breath, our sweaty bodies still joined together. I looked into his eyes and knew that this was just the beginning.
The sunlight filtering through the curtains roused me. I blinked at the brightness, confusion clouding my mind. As I looked around, I realized I was in a room I didn't recognize. The decor was unfamiliar. Panic raced through me, and I shot upright. I glanced around frantically, trying to piece together the events of the night before. What had happened? How had I ended up here?
The vague memories of dancing, laughter, and shared drinks flooded my mind, but there was a significant gap where clarity should have been. I could hardly remember anything after taking that shot.
He emerged from the bathroom, a towel wrapped around his waist and a sleepy grin on his face. "Hey, you're awake! I was starting to worry," he said, his tone light and casual, but I noticed a hint of concern in his eyes.
"What happened last night?" I asked, my voice shaky.
"You don't remember?" he asked, his brows furrowing.
"I remember dancing and... drinks, but that's about it," I admitted, feeling a wave of embarrassment wash over me.
"You let loose, that's for sure!" he chuckled, but then his expression softened. "We had fun. You were really enjoying yourself."
"Right... fun," I repeated, the weight of my actions beginning to settle in. "But how did I end up here? I thought we were just hanging out."
He walked closer, his expression serious now. "After the party, we were talking in the kitchen. You were feeling a bit unsteady, so I offered to help you get home. You said you didn't want the night to end, and we ended up here."
"I'm sorry," I said, feeling the weight of regret. "I didn't mean for this to happen. I didn't want to cross any lines."
Ethan stepped closer, his eyes warm and understanding. "Ellie, it's okay. You didn't do anything wrong. We were both having fun, and it was a wild night. I promise I'm not upset."
"I have to go." I said, my heart heavy with uncertainty.
After a few moments of awkward silence, I slipped out of bed and gathered my clothes. I felt exposed and vulnerable, a stark contrast to the excitement of the night before. As I dressed, Ethan turned away, giving me the space I needed. Once I was fully clothed, I glanced at him, feeling a mixture of gratitude and guilt.
I needed to talk to Amy, to process everything that had happened. As we walked to the door, I felt a lump in my throat. I couldn't help but feel like I had crossed a line, like I had let the moment get away from me. But the truth was that I was still wrestling with the ghosts of my past.
I waved goodbye and headed back to our apartment, my heart heavy with conflicting emotions. When I walked through the door, Amy looked up from her spot on the couch, immediately sensing something was off.
"Ellie? Are you okay?" she asked, concern etched on her face.
I sighed, sinking onto the couch beside her. "I need to talk to you."
"Sure, what happened?" she prompted, putting down her book and turning to face me fully.
I took a deep breath, feeling the weight of everything I had to confess. "I went to the party with Ethan last night, like I told you I would." I paused, rubbing my hands nervously. "It was fun at first, you know? We danced, we drank a bit... but things got blurry after that."
Amy's expression shifted from curiosity to concern. "Blurry? What do you mean, blurry?"
"I don't really remember a lot of what happened after a certain point," I admitted, feeling the weight of my words. "One minute we were at the party, and the next... I'm waking up in bed with Ethan."
Amy's eyes widened, her mouth falling open slightly in shock. "Ellie, you woke up in his bed What...happened?"
"That's the thing—I don't really know," I said, feeling my throat tighten.
"You're allowed to have fun and make mistakes. You're human. But you also need to trust yourself to set boundaries when you need to. If you're not ready, you're not ready, and that's okay."
I let out a heavy sigh, feeling the tension in my chest start to loosen just a little. "Thanks, Amy. I don't know what I'd do without you."
"You'd be a mess, that's what," she teased, giving me a playful nudge. "But seriously, I'm here for you. If you need to talk to Ethan or figure things out, just know I'm behind you. You don't have to deal with this alone."
I smiled, grateful for her unwavering support. "I think I do need to talk to Ethan. I need to be clear with him about where I'm at. I don't want to lead him on."
Amy nodded in agreement. "Good idea. Just be honest with him. He seems like a decent guy, so I'm sure he'll understand."
Later that evening, I sat in my room, staring at my phone, debating how to approach Ethan. The memory of waking up in his bed still hung heavily over me, but I knew I had to face it head-on. I didn't want to avoid him or let things fester.
After a few minutes of hesitation, I finally texted him:
Me: Hey, can we talk?
The response came quickly:
Ethan: Of course. Are you okay?
Me: Yeah, I just need to talk about last night.
Ethan: I can come over now if that works.
Me: Okay.
A few minutes later, there was a knock on the door, and my heart raced as I opened it to find Ethan standing there, looking a little uncertain but still as warm and friendly as ever.
"Hey," he said softly, stepping inside. "What's going on?"
I led him to the couch, gesturing for him to sit beside me. I took a deep breath, trying to steady my nerves. "I've been thinking a lot about last night... and I just wanted to clear the air."
He looked at me with genuine concern. "Ellie, if you're feeling uncomfortable about what happened, I completely understand. I don't want you to feel like you need to apologize or anything."
I shook my head, appreciating his kindness. "It's not that. I just... I think I let things go further than I was ready for. And that's on me, not you. You didn't do anything wrong. I guess I just need you to know that I'm not in a place where I can give you more than friendship right now."
Ethan nodded slowly, his face softening with understanding. "I get it. I really do. I didn't want to push you into anything, and I'm sorry if I made you feel like you had to go along with things last night."
"No, it wasn't like that," I assured him. "I made my own choices. But waking up in your bed made me realize that I'm still not over Trevor. My heart's not ready for anything else, even if I thought I was. I don't want to hurt you, Ethan."
He smiled, though there was a hint of sadness in his eyes. "You're not hurting me. I care about you, Ellie, but I also respect where you're at. If you need time, space, whatever, I'm not going to push. I just want to be there for you, however you need."
I felt a wave of relief wash over me. "Thank you. I really appreciate that."
He leaned back on the couch, running a hand through his hair. "I won't lie, I do have feelings for you, but I value our friendship more. If that's what you need from me, then that's what I'll give you."
The sincerity in his voice made my heart ache a little. I was grateful for his understanding, but I also couldn't shake the feeling of regret that I had let things get complicated between us. Still, I knew that setting boundaries was the right thing to do, both for him and for me.