George, in Lavinia's bed: Morning... how'd ya sleep last night?
Lavinia, knocking George off: WHAT THE HELL?!
George: Ow—
Lavinia: What were you doing in my bed? You were supposed to sleep on the air mattress on the floor!
George: I had a nightmare.
Lavinia: You had a nightmare? What are you, five years old?
George: Listen, I needed to feel comfortable and I was getting this perverse power dynamic vibe from me sleeping on the floor and you sleeping up there-
Lavinia, in a royal accent: Why yes, how high and mighty I am up on this throne!
George: That is not what I meant—
Lavinia: Silence in the presence of your king, who sleeps a lofty twelve and a half inches above the ground!
George: Listen, I'm not ashamed. I slept comfortably when I got up on your bed and I'm sure you did too.
Lavinia: Yeah, okay-
George: You know what? I wanna know. How'd you sleep last night?
Lavinia: ...That was the best I've slept in a while.
George, gasping: The king slept comfortably with a peasant in his bed!
Lavinia: I did not consent to this-
George, dramatically: But my liege, our love is forbidden!
*Phone rings*
Lavinia, on the phone: Hi, could you call back? I'll be ready by 10:00, no doubt.
Lavinia: Okay, I'ma go shower and wash all of the you off of me.
George: Oh, maybe together we could—
Lavinia: NO.
George: Just to save water—
Lavinia: No! You don't even pay for the water!
George: ...Good point.
