WordSmith

Fear, it can be frighteningly good for us

It's the time for, "Ghoulies, ghosties, long-leggedy beasties and things that go bump in the night..." I'm not a man who is easily spooked. Being an avid horror film fan has left me somewhat immune to the fear of things that go bump in the night. I've certainly never been fearful of ghosts, even as a child I believed in the adage, "It's the living we should be afraid of."

Now, is the time to share my recent 'bump in the night' experience with you. Here goes – it was the end of an uneventful Saturday night. I brushed my teeth and readied for slumber. In bed I read a chapter of 'The Haunting of Hill House' enjoying reading the book alone in a house on a hill. Of late, there's a genre of horror story that's become popular, it's called 'home-invasion-horror' wherein the security of the protagonist's homelife is threatened by a living antagonist. I wasn't thinking of those stories as I closed my ghost story. I switched off the light and succumbed to a deep sleep.

Alas, I was woken from that blissful sleep by a THUD above me. Assuming a picture had fallen off the wall, I turned over to go back to sleep. But, I was jolted by a BANG! I sat up and thought it unlikely two pictures would fall off the wall in one night. Sitting in the darkness, I looked at my phone and clocked the time: 2.40am – the dead of night. Quiet returned, in which time I silently asked myself, "Did I lock the door last night?" That's when the unmistakeable sound of footfall above me answered my question, 'I hadn't locked the door!' Someone was in the house.

Surprisingly, I wasn't frightened. In fact, the first thing I did on getting out of bed was to put on my cap; if I was to be murdered in my own home, it would be with the cap atop my head. After quietly dressing in the dark, I calmly picked up a heavy based lamp and crept stealth like to my bedroom door.

the door opened without a creak. I stepped into the darkened hallway. All my senses focussed on upstairs, wherein I listened to doors being opened and closed without inhibition; my home-intruder made no effort to hide their invasion.

My internal dialogue told me to be disarmingly polite, so I asked almost cheerfully, "Hello, who's up there?" Immediately I heard a rush across the landing. I tensed and brandished the lamp, accordingly. But, I was hit in the face by torchlight, blinding me! My politeness left the building, "Get that light outta my f***ing face and get outta my house!"

The beam of torchlight circled the hallway; an unsettling quiet returned, "Where are you?" I asked; a seed of fear took root and began to rise. Finally, through the dim moon light he emerged at the top of the stairs – a stranger.

We stared at each other, before I asked, "What you doing?" He looked perplexed, "Are you *Dave?" he asked. "No, I'm not Dave!" His face registered: confusion, shock, then alarm as he splurged, "Sorry!" He leapt down the stairs, gibbering, "Dave said he'd leave the door open... sorry...the door was open...sorry..." Outside, he jumped in his car and sped off; I'm assuming to wherever Dave's house is.

I locked the door, went back to bed and fell straight back to sleep. The following day, I thought of how my slow onset of fear helped me cope calmly in an adverse situation.

Fear can be good for us, it makes us alert to danger and the resultant adrenaline rush is physically helpful in stressful situations, inducing our decision to fight or flight rather than delay and dither.

And fear has other physiological benefits, including weight loss. One study has shown that while watching a horror film, subjects burned an average of 113 calories, equivalent to what they'd burn on a half-hour walk. That said, I wouldn't recommend horror movies as part of a regular weight loss routine.

I'd love to wrap this column up with a neat end to my home-intruder story. Sadly, I don't have one, it remains a mystery. I'm content to let it be a cautionary tale: ENSURE YOUR DOORS ARE LOCKED AT NIGHT – you never know what Dave, Dick or Harry may enter.